Jokes

Last night I watched a documentary on a guy who worked sixty hours a week crushing coke cans.

It was soda pressing.

MODS WE NEED A FACEPALM EMOJI!....

Whats the difference between a ginger fanny & a cricket ball?

If you try really hard..

Really really hard..

You can eat a cricket ball.

When a girl seductively tells you, “You can stick it wherever you want.”

Apparently in her sister is NOT one of the options.

This morning at work my boss told me to "have a great day"

So I'm going to the pub.

Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will.

I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to Google it now!

GF 'Love you babe xxx'

Me 'Love you too'

GF 'Would mean a lot if you started putting x's at the end of your text xxx'

Me 'OK Amy, Jane, Holly, Gemma'

My dad used to say "Always be up front with everyone".

Great bloke, terrible goalkeeper.

News: 'Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.'

He needs a calmer chameleon.

I went round MC Hammer's house the other day.

It was rubbish!!

He wouldn't let me touch anything.