Mad Superstitions

I've not watched an episode of Strictly Come Dancing since Alesha Dixon did her Crazy in Love dance which I enjoyed far too much because the following week horrible things, too horrible to go into on a family blog, happened to me.

Since then even if I've forgotten it's on and was flicking through the channels I immediately click away to ensure that bad luck will not follow me around.

I'm being serious. That's why it's called Mad Superstitions. I know it wont make any difference but I can't make myself watch SCD any more.

What are your mad superstitions?

I promise I will not laugh.

No I will laugh.

I never walk under a ladder, or at least not before I make the sign of the holy trinity first.

I also do not like to cross past someone on the stairs, and will always let them pass first.

I can never willlingly step on those 'negative power lines'* - you know the ones; they're a combination of cracks in the pavement and an invisible network of 45 degree lines radiating from the corners of all and every manhole cover, little water-tap-thingy cover and in fact any embedded 'pavement furniture'.
*They're like a sort of horrid, unsettling little web of 'anti-ley' lines that, if trodden on, begin to grow in power and subsequently are enabled to exert a malign and undisclosed influence over your my life...bastards! They're out to f@#*in' get me...

This is not a random thing, either... there's a very strict set of rules that governs how the 'negative power line' network is established.
1) Any and all cracks in the pavement - don't step on em!
2) Any and all lines formed by the boundary of any paving slabs or kerbstones - don't step on em!!
3) You can step on the joins between any and all brick paviers - god! that'd just be silly!
4) The edges of manhole covers, or the small metal water board access hatches? (plus all concrete ones and variations thereof, naturally) - Don't step on em!!!
5) Here's where it gets really deranged serious. Every single 90-degree corner on a paving slab or item of pavement furniture (but not kerbstones, interestingly...) that forms part of the pavement that you're walking on has an invisible 'negative power line' extending at a 45 degree angle from the point out to an unknowable distance, but trust me; it's a long way and you won't be able to just walk in front of the end of it.. oh-ho no, friend - DO NOT step on em!!!! Don't do it!!!!!
6) All of the invisible 45 degree lines criss-cross each other as they stretch to infinity or the edge of the pavement or wherever... it's bad enough to step on one of them, but the intersections? - DON'T STEP ON EM!!!!!! they're the worst of all...
7) Anyone's shadows that fall across your path; these are much more clearly defined on a strong sunny day, meaning that the sun is a key factor in this - sod em. They're just shadows, man!

By now, you're probably beginning to get some idea of the quite extraordinary ballet of tiptoes, cross-steps and continual stride adjustment that's required to avoid falling foul of these, the Great Evil One's most insidious creations.
All of this can make one look like a scary weird fucktard as one proceeds oddly down the street, staring at the floor and tiptoeing as though in the midst of a minefield that no-one knew was there... "What?! What?!! T'cha lookin' at? *weirdo*..."
In the end, this may explain why I prefer to walk on virgin tarmac, grass, dog turds... anything but the liiines maaan... don't make me walk on the lines!*sob!*

ps - this is all perfectly normal to me and the rest o' ya's... well, you're all buggered. Sorry.

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

Oh blimey there are loads of things. They say, for example, that it's bad luck to go home with a bloke you've just met hanging around a lavatory, so I wouldn't try that. What else?... Well, a boat with a hole in it is supposed to signify impending doom. You might think it's an old wives' tale, but if you actually look at official stats, it's amazing how many boats have gone out with holes in them and not come back. Spooky really. And staying with the water theme, taking a swim off Bondi beach with a piece of raw steak down your trunks is allegedly tempting the wrath of cruel fate. Not really sure how that one could work, but it supposedly does. There's also something about aeroplanes with one wing being bad luck, and I was always told you should never ride a motorcycle in a blindfold. Then there's that radical clairvoyant dude who's apparently said that opening your estate hatch in the middle of a safari park is an invitation to doom, so I'm a bit superstitious about doing that now too.

In the end, though, it's very much about individual belief. Some people I've known have believed all of the above, and others have said it's just complete bollocks. I think I kind of believe it - mainly because all those who said it was bollocks have now either been sectioned, buried or cremated. But that could just be coincidence, obviously.

I play football and just before every game kicks off or if i'm coming on as a substitute, I pick a few blades of grass from the pitch and tuck them in my sock!! I really dont know why I started doing this but i've been doing it for as long as i can remember. Quite strange....but arent all superstitions strange!!!

When i go to a football match,just before kick-off i have to pull my shirt up over my nose (i.e like someone farted or there's a bad smell) until the referee blows the whistle to start the match,i've been doing this for years,i did it once and we won,so now i have to do it every game.

I was reading into some phenomenon earlier regarding fear of the number 13. Scientifically known as Triskaidekaphobia, there are a number of theories, some factual, some not so factual and others plain crazy.

It might not surprise superstitious people to learn that the UK National Lottery ball 13 is the second least frequently drawn number since the show began on Saturday 19th November 1994. It has been drawn only 171 times - 16 times as a bonus ball and 155 times as a main ball. Statistically it is the second unluckiest number in the game, only 16 has been drawn even less frequently. 13 though remains the number to have won less often than any other number. The National Lottery has 14 sets of balls. Set 13 has never been selected to be used.

According to Christian tradition, there were 13 attendees at the Last Supper (Jesus and 12 desciples). Judas, the desciple who betrayed Jesus, is said to have been the 13th guest to sit at the table, although the bible doesn't specifically state the order in which the guests arrived at the meal.

13 may also have affected the Vikings. In Norse Mythology, Loki is said to be the 13th God of the Norse Pantheon, and is believed to have engineered the murder of Balder (another of the Norse Gods), and Loki was also believed to have been the 13th guest to arrive at the funeral.

Ancient Persians believed that the twelve signs of the Zodiac each controlled the Earth for a thousand years, and at the end of the twelfth, the sky and earth would collapse in chaos. Many Persians always leave their homes on the 13th day of their calendar to avoid bad luck.

In 1881, a group of New Yorkers led by former US Civil War Captain William Fowler, came together to dispell this and other superstitions. A dinner cabaret club of 13 people was formed called The Thirteen Club, and they met for the first time on Friday January 13th 1881 at 8.13pm, in room 13 of the venue. All guests entered the room by walking under a ladder and were seated among piles of spilt salt. All 13 guests survived, and Thirteen Clubs continued to be set up across America for the next 40 years, before people became less superstitious.

The near disastrous Apollo 13 space mission was launched on April 11th 1970 at 13.13 CST, and was scheduled to land on the moon on April 13th. Despite a number of circumstances seeming to conspire against the astronauts and flight crew, the crew safely made it back to Earth on April 17th. Original command module pilot Ken Mattingly was replaced by back-up pilot Jack Swigert two days before the mission began, a routine oxygen tank stir exercise resulting in the explosion that crippled the ship, CO2 levels toxic, power shortages meaning very limited communication and television broadcasts and over a minute longer than that expected for normal re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere. Commander Jim Lovell's wife Marilyn, was portrayed as heavily triskadekaphobic in the 1995 film about the disaster.

The racetrack in Santa Anita Park, California, has no 13th stall. Instead, the stall numbers go from 12 to 12A before 14.

Many other folklore about the number 13 include the following:

There are supposed to be 13 members of a full witch's coven.
Many restaurants worldwide have no 13th table.
Reports of many elevators/lifts worldwide that have no 13th floor button.

In my street, there is no 13th house. The odd numbers on one side of the street miss out 13 and go straight to 15 after 11.

(13-06-2011 23:18 )PillowPants Wrote:  When i go to a football match,just before kick-off i have to pull my shirt up over my nose (i.e like someone farted or there's a bad smell) until the referee blows the whistle to start the match,i've been doing this for years,i did it once and we won,so now i have to do it every game.

I take it you're a Barca fan then ?..

I always carry a small shiny pebble in my pocket as a lucky charm to protect me from being attacked by a man-eating tiger.

The fact that I have never once been attacked by a man-eating tiger proves beyond all doubt that it works.

A kind gypsy once asked me to cross her palm with silver, and she gave me a 'lucky pennie'.
"Put this pennie in your wallet" she said, "and your wallet will never be empty".

I have always kept that pennie in my wallet, and do you know it worked.
My wallet has never been empty, because I have got that friggin pennie in it