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Jokes

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MikeGee Offline
Glossy Lipstick & High Heels mmm
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Posts: 1,213
Joined: Nov 2008
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Post: #8371
RE: Jokes
CAN ADMINS OF THIS FORUM DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY MAN WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HIS UNMENTIONABLES.
HE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 4 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE ITS REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.
18-05-2018 13:52
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MikeGee Offline
Glossy Lipstick & High Heels mmm
*****

Posts: 1,213
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation: 30
Post: #8372
RE: Jokes
So I said to my mate today who's going on holiday soon and in her fifties. "Don't forget to take your nipple sun cream for when you get ya boobs out for the boys. "
She replied "Sudocrem would be better for when they scrape along the ground. "
18-05-2018 13:53
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #8373
RE: Jokes
I recently watched my wedding video backwards.

I love it when I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends.
19-05-2018 16:10
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
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Post: #8374
RE: Jokes
I got sacked from my job as a theatre designer.

I left without making a scene.
19-05-2018 16:12
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
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Post: #8375
RE: Jokes
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it...

Then my illegal logging business is a success!
19-05-2018 16:17
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
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Post: #8376
RE: Jokes
People tell me that my grammar stinks...

What do they expect?

She’s 89.
19-05-2018 16:19
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
Joined: Sep 2010
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Post: #8377
RE: Jokes
Scientists announced today that dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.

Which means, women are now down to third place.
20-05-2018 19:47
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
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Post: #8378
RE: Jokes
Wife says to husband; "You only ever want sex when you're drunk"

Husband says; "That’s not true... sometimes I want a kebab"
24-05-2018 21:30
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8379
RE: Jokes
My wife said I need to be more in touch with my feminine side.

So I...

Crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason.
24-05-2018 21:31
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,901
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8380
RE: Jokes
I'm not saying people in my area have bad teeth, but one woman just smiled in Tesco and the bar code scanner picked it up as a set of saucepans!!..
26-05-2018 18:53
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