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Handjob, give me a hand here.......

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JohnnyChrist Offline
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Post: #1
Handjob, give me a hand here.......
not what u think by the title lol, im no cherryryder.....yet Tongue

but seriously............none of u pusses laugh lol, but i havent done any "intimate" stuff with a girl yet. ive had sex several times like at festivals wer its in out and done.

but ive like just got a new girlfriend, and its like wen wer in bed kissin its goin to happen probaly and well.....what do u do wen u cum? just let that shit happen all over u and sleep? help lol

Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered.
I have to return some videotapes....

I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
27-01-2009 00:17
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Mister Gummidge Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
Hey JC, my tip? When she starts, roll onto your side facing her. This has several benefits, the ones she thinks your doing it for, such as easy access for kissing, fondling etc., and the reason you're really doing it for, which is so that when you pop your cork it doesn't go all over your t-shirt. If it's your bed and you plan on sleeping in it later, shove a folded towel over it. You're 18 right? I hope I don't sound condecending saying this, but if your parents do the laundry make a big show of fake sneezing. You know what the stains on the sheets are and so do they, but it gives them (mams especially!) a convenient fake excuse to latch onto, thus avoiding awkward conversations.

Also, don't do the the typical bloke thing, panicking afterwards and either buggering off home as soon as it's over or kicking the girl out when it's done! Obviously you'll want to return the favour, but if circumstances don't allow then make sure to say thank you, kiss her a lot and show your appreciation. She's less likely to feel used that way, increasing your chances of it happening again or even going further next time.

There, friendly advice from your Uncle WorzelSmile Hope it's of some useWink

-EDIT- Don't brag to all of your mates the next day, saying how great/dirty she was. No good ever comes of it!

"You say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I say that I tailor my jokes to the audience..."
(This post was last modified: 27-01-2009 01:51 by Mister Gummidge.)
27-01-2009 01:47
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bree Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
pmsl great stuff iam not laughing at you JohnnyChrist it takes me back
just relex mate and go with the flo..do what ben stiller did in some thing about mary don't go out with a loaded gun lol put senoisy just stay cool and relex she might have the same worrys you got. don't get to drunk or you might make a c*nt of it stay cool..
let me know how you get no johnny

DR bree

and on the sixth day God created BREE


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27-01-2009 09:18
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jordo Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
Another tip... If I know I'm going out to meet a girl and theres even half a sniff of "getting some". I'll always have a good five knuckle shuffle before I leave. It's always handy when tryin to reduce your chances of going a bit too soon, if you catch me drift.
27-01-2009 09:40
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A Spider Monkey Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
My old room mate at uni got a hand job off a girl and she got a bit to vigorous and snapped his banjo string. The rest of us laughed, he did'nt see the funny side.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears

"a clunge like a burst bean bag"
27-01-2009 18:42
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JohnnyChrist Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
thanks guys Smile

mr G, urs is really good thanks, i wil stay after obv lol, last weekend we wer in bed kissin and i just think she was a bit nervous so i didnt press er for it, and she was on the "blob" if you get me, so i couldnt really do anything to her, and i think shes a virgin tbh.

but il let u boyos know how it goes, thanks again Smile

Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered.
I have to return some videotapes....

I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
27-01-2009 19:52
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cherryryder Offline
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Joined: Oct 2008
Post: #7
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
JohnnyChrist Wrote:not what u think by the title lol, im no cherryryder.....yet Tongue

but seriously............none of u pusses laugh lol, but i havent done any "intimate" stuff with a girl yet. ive had sex several times like at festivals wer its in out and done.

but ive like just got a new girlfriend, and its like wen wer in bed kissin its goin to happen probaly and well.....what do u do wen u cum? just let that shit happen all over u and sleep? help lol

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww gutted!
was hoping for a free handjob after reading the title, you got me all excited! Tongue
27-01-2009 19:58
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JohnnyChrist Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
hahahahahah i thought that would bring in the view ahhhaah

but no no free handjob here...............unless its from the babe channel babes!!!!

Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered.
I have to return some videotapes....

I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
27-01-2009 20:04
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JohnnyChrist Offline
I Can Feel Everything!!
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Posts: 593
Joined: Nov 2008
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Post: #9
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
hi guys, sorry ive been away for a few weeks, was working away from home and had no internet access at all!!! was gutted!!

but...........it happened on valentines night, mr G, thanks for ur advice i used a towel lol, and for returning the favour i had to wait till the weekend after lol cs she was on the blob lol. but it went well, and its all good, so thanks guys Smile

Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered.
I have to return some videotapes....

I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
24-02-2009 19:30
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bree Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Handjob, give me a hand here.......
glad things work out JohnnyChrist Wink

and on the sixth day God created BREE


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25-02-2009 07:34
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