Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

oh my god, i can't believe i nearly forgot a few of the best

"this one's gonna be a slobberknocker!"
"STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!"
"he's beating him like a government mule"

and the slightly lesser known, but equally brilliant (search youtube "RAW SKITTLES")

"delicious, fruity, delicious, fruity, fruity, delicious, oh my god, they're fruity, delicious, fruity skittles!"

from the commentator GOD, good ol' "JR" Jim Ross

almost anything that dr cox says on scrubs

Full Metal Jacket

Drill Sergeant: What's your excuse?

Cowboy: Sir, excuse for what, sir?

DS: I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private, you understand?

CB: Sir, yes, sir!

DS: Well, thank-you-very-much. Can I be in charge for a while?

CB: Sir, yes, sir.

DS: Are you shook up? Are you nervous?

CB: Sir....?

DS: "Sir" what? Were you about to call me an asshole?

CB: Sir, no, sir!

DS: How tall are you private?

CB: Sir, five foot nine, sir!

DS: Five foot nine- I didn't know they stacked shit that high. Are you trying to squeeze an inch on me somewhere, huh?

CB: Sir, no, sir!

DS: Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated. Where you from Private?

CB: Sir, Texas, sir!

DS: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me so that norrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

CB: Sir, no, sir!

DS: I bet you're the kinda guy that'd fuck a person in the ass and not even have the the goddamn common courtesy to give him the reach around. I'll be watching you!

From Dr Strangelove,

President Merkin Muffley (great name btw): "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here - this is the War Room."

Kindergarten Cop:

''Who is your daddy and what does he do?''

&

''I'm a cop you idiot!''

More Curb Your Enthusiasm

Shara: i'll fuck the jew outta you

Larry: keep my father out of it

Shara: you wanna fuck me like israel fucked my country?

Shara:Occupying fuck !!! Occupy this!

Larry: I'm an occupier. I'm an occupier.

army of darkness.

[after shooting King Arthur's sword in half]
Ash: "Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick!
The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line.
You can find this in the sporting goods department.
That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.
That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that!"

Family Guy

(Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a bully)
Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

From Monty Python

Pepperpot1: Penguins don't come from next door; they come from the Antarctic.
Pepperpot2: BURMA!
Pepperpot1: Why'd you say Burma?
Pepperpot2: I panicked.

The Wire

Proposition Joe: I heard your end would be covering my fee.
Stringer Bell: Your fee?
Proposition Joe: Yeah, I'm like a marriage counselor. Tell the man he oughta bring the bitch some flowers every once in a while. Tell the bitch she gotta suck some cock every once in a while. That sort of shit.
[Omar arrives]
Proposition Joe: Speaking of cocksuckers...
[to Omar]
Proposition Joe: I'm Proposition Joe. You fuck with me, I'll kill your whole family.