Things you could do once, but can't now

Stand on a chair and flash my dick to all the women that walk past.

(09-02-2019 23:01 )GMach1 Wrote:  Buy a newspaper with a semi-naked/naked girl in it and no one would bat an eyelid even if you read it on the bus

You can still do that on the Daily Star i think on a Sunday.

Touch my toes without releasing an involuntary groan.

Get out of bed without at least one bone creaking.

Run across a road at speed...now it's more of an embarrassing quick trot.

Tear a complete telephone directory in half with bare hands -lost all major grip several years ago, although it was easier if you broke the spine of it first.

Recover quickly from cuts, bruises or scrapes. Now it seems to take over a week AND you find yourself asking the question "How did I do this in the first place?"

Recover from a hangover quickly.

When I was 18, I could get absolutely bladdered...completely newscasted...get home, puke my guts up, sleep then be up the next morning stuffing my face with about 3 bowls of cereal or whatever came to hand..

Nowadays on the rare occasions I get rat arsed, the hangover sticks around for 2-3 days.

I hate getting older.

Get a whole nights sleep without having to go to the toilet half way through

Go to the barbers safe in the knowledge that you would not be asked if you wanted your eyebrows trimmed

Record the day shows on my sky box for nip slips, they are non existent now

Play snooker. My eyesight has become crap and as luck would have it my local opticians don’t have Dennis Taylor style glasses. But then saying that, I’d rather not play, (even though I used to love playing it) than resort to looking like a complete tit with stupid looking glasses on (can’t wear contacts)

Not worry about an ache or pain writing it off as nothing whilst now you worry about anything and everything as it might be something really bad Snooker would be okay only the last time I played(on my birthday at a friend's club) I was awful and mostly managed to push the cue into my ribs several times. My distance sight is good but I wouldn't be confident at chipping a ball into the middle pocket.