funny stories

Shady Cee Wrote:Evening boys and girls - it's nice to be back after almost a week. I see I've been missing plenty! Might as well pitch in with a typically Shady moment from back when I was a lad in retail, working for one of the big electricals. One of the sales guys was nice enough, but always...and I mean always, blagged the sexy lady customers before we could get near them. Bastard! We were just jealous to be honest, as he had the chat and the balls and we didn't.

Anyway, one day I see him race over to yet another young lady, only this time she was not what you'd call a babe. I know this sounds bad and you shouldn't judge by looks, but she was not nice at all. Anyway, I wander past and make up some rubbish excuse to have a brief word with him while she waits. I say "Bloody hell mate, she's not your usual standard - bit of a dog".

Realising he can't actually hit me or let the girl know what I just said, he just leans right into me and growls "That's my fucking sister!"

There is no amount of back tracking, begging, pleading or just plain grovelling gets you out of that one.

'Ouch...'

Couldn't have said it better myself Colbert lol, that's one hell of a foot in mouth story there Shady Cee

long story short.
i had all my money and my keys stolen by a hooker in prague
thank fuck my passport was in the safe!

Colbert Rules Wrote:

Shady Cee Wrote:Evening boys and girls - it's nice to be back after almost a week. I see I've been missing plenty! Might as well pitch in with a typically Shady moment from back when I was a lad in retail, working for one of the big electricals. One of the sales guys was nice enough, but always...and I mean always, blagged the sexy lady customers before we could get near them. Bastard! We were just jealous to be honest, as he had the chat and the balls and we didn't.

Anyway, one day I see him race over to yet another young lady, only this time she was not what you'd call a babe. I know this sounds bad and you shouldn't judge by looks, but she was not nice at all. Anyway, I wander past and make up some rubbish excuse to have a brief word with him while she waits. I say "Bloody hell mate, she's not your usual standard - bit of a dog".

Realising he can't actually hit me or let the girl know what I just said, he just leans right into me and growls "That's my fucking sister!"

There is no amount of back tracking, begging, pleading or just plain grovelling gets you out of that one.

'Ouch...'

HAHA OH GOSH SHADY CEE LOL !!!

QUALITY!

Sm© Wrote:long story short.
i had all my money and my keys stolen by a hooker in prague
thank fuck my passport was in the safe!

lol awwww smc xxxxxxx

alipp Wrote:ok lol i have LOADS!!!!

ill tell u my most recent and this was at work .........

last friday after my shift at work i went downstairs to the work office where all the office staff where sitting at there desks and my boss was sitting, i spoke to him abit about work and i swore, and infront of me sat a man with blonde hair and he said " oi dont swear" so i then looked at my boss and this girl and i pulled a face and stuck my fingers up at him behind hes back , the people in the office started laughing and this man turnt around and said "are you pulling faces at me" i then carried on thinking i was funny because my boss was laughing at me, i turnt around and saw a guitar which belong to this man so i took the piss out of this guitar........so being a pain in the bum i say godbye to everyone and my boss shouts "bye ally" so i say bye back, then this other man shouts " bye ally" to wich i reply " whos that " then everyone laughs again.

i then go out the room and ask this girl "who is that man" to which she replys " thats ur big boss"!!!!


oh my flipping shitty god my mouth fell to the floor !!! lol i dont think i can face going back lol x

thats embarrassing!!!!!

Oh my god!!

I think that is quite possibly the greatest story ever told!! LMFAO!!!

I work in TV production and managed to get a runners job on an independent film set in the freezing cold hills of the Peak District. Yesterday was my first day...

The filming was geared around re-doing some shots that the director wasn't happy with the first time round, either because of continuity errors or poorly acted scenes, but the lead actor called at the very last minute to say he was unavailable to shoot so the director needed a 'body double'... can you see where this story is going yet?!

The lead actor was a 16 year old kid and had dark brown hair like me so as I was the youngest of the crew (24), the director pulled me over and asked if I would slip into the spare clothes. Wanting to show that I was a team player on my first day, I was more than happy to oblige but the problem was that the lead actor was approximately 5ft8 and I'm 6ft4!!

The tracksuit top I was given to wear just about reached down to my belly button and the trousers were so precariously placed that bending down even the slightest bit, exposed the crew to a glimpse of my very cold arse! (It's not a great sight in warm conditions if I'm honest!)... needless to say, I looked ridiculous and we had to halt filming on more than one occasion due to the sound of production staff sniggering in the background!!

That was bad enough, I thought, until the two stunning lead actresses jumped out of the warmth of the car to take a look at what was going on! Embarrassing!!!