Amusing Story Thread

Well I see we have the Happy Thread and we also have the pissed off Thread but what we don't have is The Amusing Story Thread so I thought I would put that right

First story is from one time me and my brother were in Tesco's as I was helping him with his shopping and we happened to be in fruit and veg isle. Now unknown to me was the fact he'd just dropped his guts

An elderly couple who were near by commented on the fact that the turnips smelt really fresh one of them commented whilst taking in a very deep sniff "Yes dear you can really tell how fresh they are, they must be straight from the farm we must buy one"

My brother then sniggered and whispered to me. "That's not turnips they are smelling, that was me"

We moved very quickly onto another isle whilst trying to keep a straight face at the same time which wasn't very easy

First time me and my Ex went to stay with her parents. I needed the loo, so I goes in, locks the door and drops my trousers. I'm sitting there on the pan, with my trousers round my ankles, when in walks her fucking MOTHER

"Oh, sorry" she says, "the door wasn't locked"

Turns out there were TWO doors The bathroom was L shaped and I never noticed

FFS!!! A bathroom with 2 doors, who'd have thought it

A few years back I was standing in my local with a pint of beer talking to my mates as I do. We ordered more pints up and no sooner had they arrived that one of my mates was standing there now with an empty pint glass.

I said to him. "Fuck me, that was quick" but then I looked down on the ground and noticed that the bottom of his glass had fallen off with a clean break. It was fucking hilarious, I think it must have got the biggest laugh that night, suffice to say he wasn't charged for a refill in a more stable glass