Jokes

I dreamed of an ocean of soda,

It was just a Fanta sea.

I was struggling to put my seatbelt on, but then it just clicked.

Did you hear about that dyslexic pimp? Apparently he bought himself a warehouse...

Two ships collided.

One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of blue paint.

All the passengers were marooned.

The same bike tries to run me down every day.

Sounds like a vicious cycle

A man is at the funeral of an old friend.

He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word.

The widow nods.

The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.”

The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”

What do you call it when two rock guitars accidentally crash into each other?

A Fender bender.

What do you call a Spaniard being discharged from hospital ?

Manuel.

When should condoms be used?

“Every conceivable occasion.”