Jokes

A naked man broke into a church.

The police chased him around and finally caught him by the 0rgan.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

“Thanks for coming!”

What do tofu and a dildo have in common?

“They are both meat substitutes.”

Woman says to her pet parrot, will you stop swearing please.
Fuck off, says the parrot
So the woman asks the vet for advice, shut him in the fridge for 5 minutes says the vet, that should sort him out.
So the woman shuts the parrot in the fridge for 5 minutes , when she lets the parrot out she asks him if he will stop swearing now.
OK, says the parrot you win but just tell me something. What did that poor chicken in there do to piss you off.

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

"Thanks for coming!"

I fought off an attempted robbery at my shop by using a labelling gun.

Police are looking for a man with a price on his head.

Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia.

I was involved in very organised crime