Jokes

If I was addicted to masturbation and then I became addicted to sex, would it be right to say my addiction got out of hand?

Not saying it's windy but my wheelie bin is on a speed awareness course next tuesday

My girlfriend said to me last night, “You treat our relationship like some kind of game!”

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and an extra go.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there.

Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball!

If they find out at work that I don't have tourette's, I'm in big trouble.

With all this wind I’m a bit worried about the caravan in our garden…………..we didn’t have one yesterday.

Got a blanket round me and I’m drinking wine.
To be fair my teacher always said it would end up like this.

“An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

“Two hookers were on a street corner.

They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."

The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, no. I just burped.”