Jokes

What is the best present for noisy kids?

Broken drums! - You can't beat them.

My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

But don’t worry…I’ll return.

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo.

I made a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless.

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

Why did the lawyer show up to court in his underwear?

He forgot his lawsuit.

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

Circumcision is popular because Jewish girls won’t touch anything that’s not at least 15% off.