Jokes

BREAKING NEWS... sir elton john to sing sandal in the wind at bin laden funeral

The government have hinted that there might be another bank holiday for the death of Bin Laden........

so, all together now........

Were all goin on Osama Holiday!

Scottish bloke in a bar in Canada, after a few whiskys he notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.He asks the barman "What the fuck is that?" The barman says "It's a moose." The Scottish bloke says,"Fuck me how big are the cats?"

A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a saucer of cold milk. Good heavens, she remarks. I always wondered how you re-loaded those things

Prince William has officially confirmed that Kate's ring is indeed very tight.

are you insured for sex? make sure you have the correct insurance for the sex you are having please find a list of insurer's below catering for most taste.. sex with your wife- legal & general. sex on the phone- directline . sex with your partner-standard life. sex with someone different- go compare. sex with a posh bird-privileged. sex with a transvestite-confused.com.

Scientists are apparently trying to find Viagra for women,

What a waste of time,



It's been around for years.......Its called MONEY

A farmer gets a phone call from his son "I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive".
"Shoot it" says the farmer, "and then bury it".
About 20mins later he gets another call, "done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike".

My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles and my cock out, that I realised she only wanted to rent her spare room out

I sent my blind mate a cheese grater 4 his birthday . He rang 2 thank me and said it was the most violent book he'd ever read in his life .