Jokes

A warning for Ginger girls.... Don't give yourself a Brazilian as it looks like you got a fish-finger hovering above your minge!

Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?

Daughter: Dad I'm a lesbian.

Dad: Ok cool.

2nd daughter: I'm also a lesbian

Dad: Christ, doesn't anyone in this family love cock?

Son: I do!

Retailers in Tottenham have reported that trade is down 15% on last year's festive season.

Well what did they expect?? Most of the people around there did their Xmas shopping in August!!

Warning to all men: Women are now using date rape drugs called 'blowjobs' to lure men into scams called 'relationships'

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

If you go for a piss & your urines clear,your hydrated.If it's yellow,your dehydrated,& if it's white your shaking it too hard.

£12 for a 3 course meal thats why Mums gone to Iceland
£5 for an 18 year old girl bouncing on your cock thats why Dads gone to Thailand

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, "are you scared about Mad Cow disease?" The other says "nope". The first cow asks "how come you're not scared?" The second cow replies "because I'm a chicken".

Did you realise that a women's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" & a man's "I'll be home in 5 minutes" are exactly the same.