Charlie

Bless you Charlie Dee, ever the perfectionist even at 4.04am

Charlie Dee said last night she wants to come and work for me in the music industry so I'm currently looking into firing my business partner so I can make it happen . I love you loads Charlie Dee you're better than Saturdays, money and dairy milk caramel's all put together.

I'm off on my travels for a few weeks now which means pretty much no babeshows for me - unless I do some danger wanking on tour - but that's not likely. Skully, Danzig - I'm entrusting you boys with keeping the good thread Charlie afloat whilst I'm gone.

Charlie Dee - I made you a poem! As I'm going away as soon as you've come back and it's all too much like being in my own Shakespearean tragedy for me to take .

I hope you like it

It's called 'I Love You Lots Charlie Dee' aka 'Ode To Dee-sykins'

Charlie Dee I'm glad your back
Without you on the bed my nights have been whack
I love your cheeky grin and your hot pierced nipples
You're sweeter than a million galaxy ripples

Charlie Dee you're little and cute
You've got some hot moves and some really mint boots
I love your sexy belts and your chokers and gloves
You're like a little babeshows glam angel sent from above

You said last night you thought you'd put on weight
But don't be silly missy you look fucking great
Infact Charlie Dee you're bloody delicious
I well wasn't joking about taking you to Mauritius

I was chuffed when you said I don't make your skin crawl
Because If I did I'd have to frown, cry and bawl
You still need to turn your PM's on tho Charlie Dee
But I don't just say that selfishly, you need to send your dress size to me

I had to wait to get through to you last night
And what I heard sweetie gave me a bit of a fright
You were delightful, saucy and on form - really whipping the boys into a storm
But my oh my Mrs Charlie Dee, on the other end of the call
The dude sounded like a duck having a heart attack crossed with the bad guy from 'Saw'
I wanted to cut him off and send you some hugs
But luckily you're so good he quickly caught a nut

Most of my verses had 4 lines, that last one had 7 but either way you're divine
I'm really glad too I got the wrong end of the stick
And you're not shooting a scene with some big jock yank guy involving his dick
Coz even though I'd totally have bought and watched that shit really really quickly
I'd still have been proper jealous Miss Dee - so much so I'd have been sickly

Anyhow hun, I hope your plans with TJ go to perfection
Because even since you just mentioned it last night I've had a constant erection
But I'll wrap it up there because I know I'm a bore
All I can say in conclusion is if it's for Charlie Dee, it's never a chore!

I just phoned Ferrari to look into getting Charlie Dee a hot pink or a baby pink Enzo, possibly with a Charlie Dee portrait in silver glitter on one side, but I don't think the man took me very seriously.

I explained to him that Charlie Dee wanted a pink car and I'd told her I'd get her one next year, but she'd said she thinks I should get her one this year instead, so I'd said ok then.

He didn't know who Charlie Dee was though and said he doesn't watch the babe channels . He then asked if we were married so I explained to him that we'd never met but I have phoned her 15 times since May 2009. It was right when I was explaining to him that last time I called in Charlie Dee had said I should go round to hers for a cuppa but I didn't comment on it as I was worried about things moving too quickly, when would you adam and eve it, the rude man hung up on me!

On a different note, if I get some T-shirts done up saying "Charlie Dee is hotter than your Mrs" on it with a picture of the golden girl on too, would I have any takers on paypal? Skully? Danzig? I'm thinking white print on a black t-shirt for the boys and black print on a pink shirt for the ladies - all proceeds will go towards making Charlie Dee a mint new official website!

Google told me there used to be one called Charlie's Playground and I've gotta say I'm more than a little miffed about the fact there used to be an entire playground of Miss Dee-ness and yet I missed the whole thing. I want to play on Charlie's playground too.

Apparently one of the other babes told Charlie Dee she thinks I might be obsessed with her but I just think the other babes have got lazy fans

Charlie and TJ tonight

Charlie D this morning.

I've just been mixing it up in the VIP area at download festival and there's loads of chicks rolling around in boots and little shorts that clearly think they're the bees knees but none of them are as hot as Charlie Dee. I have been spreading the good name Charlie though - Dave Grohl from them crooked vultures didn't know who Charlie Dee is though but was a nice man all the same, unlike Jared Leto from 30 Seconds To Mars - he walked past me a minute ago and gave me a dirty look - what a twat!

Great Caps!

Charlie this morning