Drunk Thread

Well, I'm not drunk much these days 'cause I always managed to get myself into trouble when I was. It starts off pretty regular, then seems to escalate into all manner of crazy.

There's the usual puking in public places, kissing women that look like Les Dawson and having difficulty speaking English. So, your basic Friday night piss up, right?

But then it escalates, like your pissed brain now is trying to get one over on your pissed brain from last week. So it ups the anté by convincing you that walking along the outside of a bridge over a river is normal. Now admittedly, the river isn't exactly a raging torrent, but it's dark, I'm fuck faced and I can't swim.

Better yet is to have one of those heart to heart chats with your buddy. Y'know, the kind of conversation that only drunk people can have, where honesty is only superceded by your inability to hold back stuff you shouldn't ever talk about. So I told my mate that I really, really, really didn't like his Mrs. For some reason he got all pissed off and we didn't get on for a while, although ironically, we had a few beers another night and all was peachy. Ya gotta love beer!

The icing on the cake though..the absolute rock bottom, nasty, messed-up, shouldn't have had that last double malt moment was...

trying to pull the bride on her wedding night, as her husband lay comatosed (yep, drunk) in their honeymoon suite.

Sadly, er I mean luckily, another friend who hadn't imbibed quite as much as I did, arrived at my hotel room door and banged on the bloody thing until I finally gave up and answered it. He seemed a bit annoyed when he found me holding her garter (hey 10 seconds earlier it was between my teeth) and then persuaded her to go back to her drunk husband. Booooooo!

So yeah, I love beer but beer doesn't love me...sadly.

Thank you very much for my nomination in
Best Cap or Cap Set Of The Year 2013
for Dannii Harwood Posts 781 & 782

Effin' Crabbies Ginger Beer. S'feckin meant to be Ginger Beer not waltzing water. Bastards. Luckily I don't have to go back to work 'til Monday. And you can fuck right off mate. [Barney like burp].

It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank.

It's my favourite thread this. No, no, honestly fuckin love this thread. All the other threads are shite. Fucking best thread. Fucking best thread.

Doesn't matter noone fucking posts here. Everyone else's fucking dickhead. That's right, you heard me, dickhead. Not mincing my words unlike you mincers.

Fucking love this thread.

This is going to be one handy (and very used) thread over the next week. Brilliant idea GroundnPound I will try to behave now I know it's here but I ain't making no promises, lol

All hail to the ale!!

Can't shtand that BaddaBing. Effing Johnny come lately.

LoL, thanks for the gracious welcome Captain Vimes

(24-12-2010 15:57 )BaddaBing Wrote:  LoL, thanks for the gracious welcome Captain Vimes

Youse a feckin tw@t! And me feckin best mate.

Christmas Eve, time to don my Santa's hat and visit several friends and many drinking establishments.
Then home to look at the TWO extremely sexy Sophia Lares. hic!

(24-12-2010 16:32 )Charlemagne Wrote:  Christmas Eve, time to don my Santa's hat and visit several friends and many drinking establishments.
Then home to look at the TWO extremely sexy Sophia Lares. hic!

Feckin hate you King of the Franks. Wanna get yourself over to Personal Talk where Santa (Vimes) has left you a message.

Obviously, obvious when I say Personal Talk, I know Charlemagne is in Personal Walk already. What I meant was, what I meant was, .............. have you seen my new phone? It's fucking tidy. Program it! Of course I can program it, you dunt.