Have you ever?

No

Have you ever met a nice South African?

Yes


Have you ever seen someone as beautiful as Laura Bates?

yes

have you ever cried at a sad movie

That surely a lie

Yes,The Champ

Have you ever walked out of the cinema in disgust?

No

Have you ever got a lego bit stuck in your ear?

No,probably put some up my nose as a nipper though

Have you ever told the local kids to "go and play outside their own house"?

all the time

have you ever put a knife through the same kids football

No

Have you ever been arrested for murdering a football?

No

Have you ever fell in love with a girl at first sight?

Yes

Have you ever had sex in a phone box?