Funny babeshow Screencaps

looks like someone forgot the £1.53 for the meter

Alaska's iPad battery dies mid tweet

Thank you very much for my nomination in
Best Cap or Cap Set Of The Year 2013
for Dannii Harwood Posts 781 & 782

When's the funeral? lol

Lolly's Lesson

Given that all teenagers are routinely accessing hardcore pornography on electronic devices these days : it's been found to have a detrimental effect on their concentration in class, and to have given them distorted and unrealistic expectations about sex.

The plan to address this (sadly aborted, see reasons why below) was an innovative new "two birds with one stone" (no pun intended) approach to remedy this education : porn star schoolmistresses.

The idea being to keep the little porn-obsessed monsters' attention during lessons, give them the ..er...hard facts, and also just generally to intimidate and scare the bejesus out of them.

To roll this out nationally and maximise the coverage, as well as visiting some schools in person, the lessons were also to have been interactive broadcasts live from the school so that more pupils that those just present on site could watch and participate remotely.

Here's Lolly with the first - and as it turned out - last geography lesson :



"Good Morning Class and welcome to today's lesson. We're going to be covering the relationship between geography and pornography today."



"So before we start can everyone see the globe ?.............OK who was that who said which one ? No backchat in my class !"



"So can anyone tell me some places where pornography is made ?"



"One at a time - raise your hands please"



"Are you filming with that phone ? You expecting a freebie or something ? No filming allowed - I've got exclusivity rights over my content"



"Confiscated, give it here - you can have it back after the lesson"



"Don't make me ask twice - I never have to do that--- that's better bring it here"



"Good , you can have it back later...why are you holding it like that, uugh it's sticky, you need to wash your hands my lad."



"OK where was I....wait, what's that you're doing under the desk over there...? Stop that right now, mister , come up here ..."



"Right , stand over there facing the corner...and if I catch you turning round and ogling my arse you'll be in detention"



"And that goes for you too at the back there - I don't want to see no more twitching - final warning."



"You lot here need to settle down... let's try the phone for an answer, name me a place that's a great big centre of the porn industry ?"



"ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH - who at the back shouted out Essex ? "



"Ok smart mouth - you givin' me lip ? Come up and stand in the corner next to young hairy palms over there"



"Back to the phone...sorry what were you saying, is that Essex ? No, this is Asia...."



"OK I'll give you a clue..big centre of porn industry - what about in North America ? Any suggestions ?"



"No...?What about West Coast ?



California mean anything to you.. Still nothing..? .....Not too bright on the phones are we ?"



"PAY ATTENTION...and stop staring, I know you must have seen these before...they're not going to bite you! Heh heh heh... look at his face"



"OK we need to wrap this part up - not too good at this are you, need some revision - for homework I want to you find out 4 places that are major centres of pornography and write 500 words on each"



"Now, moving on to the....YOU! Put that away or I'll do it for you...
No, that is NOT an encouragement for you to keep on doing it!"



"OK..so we need to be moving along now from the theory, so hands up who's ready for the practical demonstration ?...."



"OK, good, paying attention now are we ? So for this I'll need the help of a volunteer, so does anyone want to step forward...?"



"NO, NO, NO - One at a time please !!!!!"

(Broadcast feed is hastily pulled as lesson descends into chaos...)

Mikaela seems upset about lack of calls

Gagging for it ....?



Yeah no I wouldn't put either of them in your mouth, sweetheart...

".....so ronery ?"

Little Jazz horner sat in the corner..,.......

AAADRIIAANNN!!