Babe Show Lingo - What It Really Means

Phrase - "I've been away for a few days, so I'm dying to speak to you sexy boys again."

Translation - "I needed a few days off to mentally prepare myself for the bull**** I have to listen to."

Phrase: My last caller was such a stud, knew exactly how to get me going and had such stamina.

Translation: Why couldn't the pathetic waste of skin just hurry up and cum

Phrase - "***** has a couple on the line!"

Translation - "Jimmy and Sara from the office are on two separate lines doing a conference call with the woman on-screen and having to bite their knuckles each time the other one talks in order to avoid ruining the illusion with gales of shrieking laughter"

Phrase - "I'll make sure to do [that thing you requested by text] very soon, just as soon as I'm finished with this phone call."

Translation - "That was a waste of £1.50 wasn't it? No matter how many times you request it I WILL NEVER DO WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO!"

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Phrase - "I'm sorry, but the producer says we aren't allowed to do twirls."

Translation - "We're allowed to do twirls if we want to, I just can't be arsed moving."

phrase: guys i am feeling so horny tonight so call me

Translation: its a job. i better pretend im up for it but i wish you would realise im not gagging for it 24/7 when you hunt me down on twitter/facebook/myspace

Phrase: I really enjoyed reading all the naughty comments from my fans on my blog

Translation: I feel sorry for the poor sap that reads that pathetic stuff on my behalf

phrase: if you like (insert name) why not join her website/text picture clubs

translation: you seriously think you have a chance dont you? how much cash you gonna spend trying

Phrase - Just call that cheeky little number on your screen to get through to me.
Translation - Cheeky little number? What the hell am I talking about.

After reading a text from their number one fan.......

Phrase: Of course i have missed you baby

Translation: Who?

PHRASE:…....... “Hello boys, and girls.”
TRANSLATION:.. “Hello boys.”

PHRASE:…....... “Your last three picture messages have been the sexiest I’ve ever seen!”
TRANSLATION:.. “Can someone bring me the bucket please?”

PHRASE:…....... “Viewers; I want you on that phone!”
TRANSLATION:.. “I’m not under pressure – honest.”

PHRASE:........... “Viewers; get on that phone, right now!!”
TRANSLATION:.. “Blimey, if these targets get any higher we’ll be threatenin’ ‘em with castration!”

PHRASE:….........“Dial now, and your call WILL be next on my line!”
ADDENDUM:...... “Ignore this viewers – I’m talking to the producer.”

PHRASE:.......... “Ahh, oh God yeah, give it to me! Harder!... Harder!!!”
TRANSLATION:.. “I wonder if the off licence is still open?”