Don't Quote me on that... Things they never really said thread

Top Tip: Brighten up an otherwise dull day by wandering around your evil lair and squeezing people in the nutsack just for a laugh.

Not everything that counts can be counted.”

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

“Two things inspire me to awe–the starry heavens above and the moral universe within.”

All quotes attributed to Albert Einstein that he never said