Life Quotes (Famous or non Famous)

"Selfish men make the best lovers. They're prepared to invest in the woman's pleasures so that they can collect an even bigger dividend for themselves." J.G. Ballard.

Although almost certainly made up, I've always thought it funny:

"WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT???????" - Mayor of Hiroshima

"Safe sex is very important. Take precautions. Put your fag out. Move your cans where they won't get knocked over." Paul Calf, (a.k.a. Steve Coogan)

"Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you." Billy Connolly

"George [Best] was a fantastic player, and he would have been even better if he'd been able to pass nightclubs the way he passed the ball." Tommy Docherty

George Best himself said: "In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life".

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one." Brian Clough

"Alcohol is a very necessary article... it makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quiet sober. It enables parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning."

George Bernard Shaw

"Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running round the pitch playing with themselves." - John Motson

"When I look back, the fondest memory I have is not really of the Goons. It is of a girl called Julia with enormous breasts."

Spike Milligan

"I think I mentioned to Bob Geldof I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging, then dinner and a movie." Sting