Favourite chant

What is your favourite chant you've ever heard at the football ? It doesn't have to be about a player of your team, it could of been towards the opposition. It could have been for the national side, or it might have just been one you've heard through the grapevine.... Just chants that make you laugh.

I will kick off with a classic about Bobby Zamora

When the ball hits your head and you're sitting in row Z... that's Zamora

His armband said he was a red torres torres
but roman came and turned his head torres torres
hes at a club that gives you flags
and where the captain shags the slags
fernando torres keep an eye on ye bird

LODOS - That's reminded me of the one we once sang, until he tweeted "I hope you all die" about us loyal fans

Marvin Morgans got big cock hoorar hoorar
he tucks it in his football sock hoorar hoorar
he swings it round and round his head
he fucked a bird but now she's dead
MARVIN MORGAN
ALDERSHOT's NUMBER 10 !!

la la la la la la la laa laa laaa la la laa
la la la la la la la laa laa laaa la la laa
la la la la la la la laa laa laaa la la laa
la la la la la la la laa laa laaa la la laa
MARVIN MORGAN
ALDERSHOT's NUMBER 10 !!

hes half a boy and half a girl torres torres
looks just like a lady boy torres torres
he was a red then took the knock
now hes sucking drogba's cock
fernando torres terry will shag your wife

"You built your ground from lego"

Sung by Leeds United fans away to Southampton, because of the size of the saints old ground The Dell.

I was at Birmingham away this season just gone and the Police locked us in for half an hour after the game, the only people left in the stadium were us fans and some Police and some pissed up Leeds fan started chanting...

"We wanna go home, we wanna go home, before Marlon rapes us, we wanna go home"

Thousands of us joined in over and over for a good 5 minutes, except for me, I was in tears laughing so much. Hands down the funniest chant I have ever heard.

I know its in poor taste given the fact the recipient of the chant was the Legend that was Bobby Robson whilst in charge at Newcastle but
i couldnt help laughing at the time as the (rather Drunk) guy standing in front of me at St James's park started singing :

Bobby Robson smells like Wee,
Bobby Robson Smells like Wee,
Bobby Robson
Bobby Robson
Bobby Robson smells like weeeeee


Ironic as the guy who started the song did actually smell like wee

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And a personal favorite that still sung regarding Birmingham City's KO from the FA Cup in 1986 by Non-League Altrincham

(to the tune of the laughing policeman)

There is a team called "City" they come from Birmingham,
They got knocked out the FA cup by Non-League Altrincham,
T'was in the final minute, the referee blew up,
Now those blue & white bastards are out the FA Cup,
Ahhhh hahahaha hahahahahaha etc etc

Oh and my mate is a Stoke fan and he told me about a chant they started when Ashley Cole split from Cheryl

"You've got to file, file, file, file, file for divorce..."

This first cropped up on our baron spell of no goals for several games, we literally had fuck all to cheer about game after game after game, so we invented something to cheer about....

Let's pretend we scored a goal
Let's pretend we scored a goal...... Yeeeessssss *the terrace went berserk literally like we'd scored*

I can't remember the game, but we done this another time, we were at home and losing 3 - 0 I think, anyway, a cry of "let's pretend we scored a goal" went up.... then again, then a chant of "4-3 we're going to win 4-3, we're going to win 4-3" I think we then scored a genuine goal, so to us on the terraces we'd just levelled it, so we sang again "let's pretend we scored a goal" then with that the whole East Bank erupted with "3-0 and you fucked it up, 3-0 and you fucked it up" happy days even when you're losing!