Escorting Personal Talk

absolutely fucking catastrophic and embarassing.

i booked a three hour appointment with a women who is slightly taller than me, slightly more built than me (i'm skinny), but she had the perfect face, eyes, breasts, hourglass shape body and legs, her skin perfectly smooth and she smelt nice. she was american.

so what went wrong? well, it wasnt a scam, or a lie (she was the person in the pics), and she did take the initiative just five mins after me coming in to have sex. she knew it was my birthday and she wrapped herself up in a golden robe and upon initially seeing her had an erection and she grinded herself on me.

but it all went wrong because of me. this is my first ever sexual experience. before that date i never kissed a girl, or had sex. she kissed me with tongue, it felt good but i didnt really feel anything. my mind just wasnt 'in the zone' so to speak. my private wasnt as hard and when she applied the condom on me it didnt felt right, and i lost my erection and never gained it back. there were many awkward moments too - she said i was kissing too much, she didnt like kissing on the face because of saliva, earlier in the morning i shaved my torso like you see guys in porn do in the hope that my skin would be as sensitive as it was before and i could enjoy feeling her body on me but as she pressed herself on me she didnt like it because i was prickly, i guess i didnt shave that well. same with around my lips as i was hurrying shaving that morning. i also shaved my regions down there and again she kindof accepted it. we did everything except anal which i wasnt too keen on. i went down on her and she did the same to me. she rode me and i was on top of her. her boobs were nice and big and real. i did engage in penetration but all the while it wasnt fully erect. this is because she said i was 'thinking too much' and in the three hours she tried everything she could but it just wasnt going up. i didnt know what was wrong with me but was just too worried about whether shes enjoying it or not. sometimes during sex i would do many mistakes which breaks the mood. at the end i couldnt concentrate and the music was offputting. after three hours, i never came. i was absolutely distraught. she gave me some drinks but that made it worse as i'm a light drinker and was knocked out almost 20 mins after. she gave me a massage and rubbed herself on me but i thought nothing of it.

something was wrong with me. in the past few days leading up to it i just wasnt getting aroused at all. i was too worried about so many details. during sex i was panicing inside my head running out of ideas of what to do next. in the end she gave up as it was nearly time and i was in tears (a little). we had a tiny conversation after about other things then had to go, she gave me a kiss before i left.

i havent really gotten over the experience. i am angry with myself. she did everything right but the experience was a disaster because of me and my anxiety. she did say though she had virgins before who never came first time. i went to see my friend afterwards and she said the same with her. but three hours?? wtf. i absolutely hate myself because of it and my friend said i should be happy that i lost my virginity on my birthday - she defines losing virginity as when you go inside the womans vagina. but i still kind of consider myself one as i never came. i was too petrified and the whole experience was surreal and didnt felt real. the sensations, i didnt feel anything. nothing was registering!! i told her too after, i felt ashamed of myself.

she told me to let go and enjoy the moment, but for some reason couldnt and even when i was in it felt held back and struck with anxiety. i thought i had every contingency covered but in the end it was my fault and as this was my first time i will never ever forget it, nomatter how hard i try.

even now since then i havent been able to get hard and even looking at good looking girls, when recognising them as hot i still dont feel anything down there. something is wrong with me.

in any case, i paid her fully by saying it as 'heres your donation' at the start of the appointment, and tipped her for the drinks, condom and everything else too. i want to write a curtesy email to say thanks for the opportunity, and stating while it was unfortunate i never came i left with many valuable experiences and learnt alot from her which i will always be grateful for. i want to see her again as i feel its unfinished business but looking at her feedback she has left good feedback for other guys saying theyre hung but with me i'm average even if she said i'm larger than average (but i'm not 8"). but i think i might have a go at other escorts first before seeing her again so i can get my confidence back. i want to see her again as she was my first and i want to climax with her and have her climax too (otherwise will have to live with no climaxing first time for the rest of my life without correcting it, which i cannot bear right now, its so distressing), but am worried she wont see me, i'm lucky i even got to see her as she says she gets 500 emails per day!! shes the most perfect woman i ever saw and met. calling other escorts is hard because they never pick up the phone when calling and never reply to emails. i feel like this was my chance, it came and presented itself fully, but i wasnt in the zone and never enjoyed or took advantage of it fully. i dont think i'll EVER get this chance with that woman again, even if i was polite, clean, gentlemanly, even buying her gifts too.

any advice would be welcomed because i feel so worse about mysef to the point that i hate myself and am ashamed of myself that in effect i was sexually switched off come the big day, after wanting and thinking about sex nonstop for the past 10 years or so!

My friend congratulations on your first time, don,t worry about your performance it happens to almost all men. No ones first time is perfect, usually it,s quick and awkward and both parties end up embarrassed. Using an experienced escort should have made for a better and more relaxed experience for you but like most people i suspect you have watched a lot of porn and therefore tried to base your performance on what you had seen. Real life is nothing like the movies, men do not go on for hours and hours and use every position in the Karma Sutra, it,s usually missionary and maybe a bit of doggy if your lucky, especially if it,s the first time. If you decide to go down the route again i suggest you let her do all the work, start with a massage to help relax you and lie back and enjoy things, don,t worry about trying to please her, after all you are the one who,s paying.

Thanks Lance. I hope to have another appt with her, just worried with all her options she might not want me as i was so crap and didnt even get hard even when she was sucking my balls for what seemed like forever. But I was polite, courtious, presented payment first and even got her gifts (this came from reading her profile). I just sent her a message thanking her for being accommodating, being my first, admitting anxiety and not knowing what to expect, expressing interest in another appt letting her know when, and saying i'm determined to go not one but a few steps better in the future, saying i'm confident things will get better for me.

also said good luck with her flatsearch as she was staying at a temp place, and asked her to say hi to her pet dog which she said she loves very much, and said next time i'll get something from her wishlist! oh yeah and i did say as well as being wonderful, i liked her sense of humour too.

i was thinking of taking viagra if this will enhance my sexual experiences. is this hard to get and requires a prescription?

Forget the pills, just find a nice attractive woman and let her take the lead. You,re the pupil she,s the teacher, study hard and pay attention in class and you will soon start to enjoy things.

she was attractive though! super attractive!

your plan of going for less "hollywood" escorts first to build up your experience is a good one - sounds like you chucked yourself right in the deep end for your first time
I recommend starting off with massages with a handjob at the end, just relax and enjoy yourself with a nice massage, then a hand shandy at the end (just look in your local paper for this, or look up naturist/erotic massage in your local area online)
this will help you relax in these situations, as you'll be naked with a lady etc's, as you build up your confidence to go back to the yank

one other thing, as callous as this sounds, you are paying the woman for a service, freaking out about whether or not she is going to enjoy herself or reject you isn't on the menu as she probably won't care either way - as long as you pay her

relax just nerves mate. temporay condition..... if u want ill cum along next time and warm her up 4 u

It's just performance anxiety because you over thought everything. You need to get over your perception of what punting is and just relax. Not to sound harsh but you need to realise she doesn't care about you at all and as soon as you're gone, she will have moved on so bothering her with courtesy emails explaining how much you loved it will mean nothing to her and if anything, will mark you out as a potentially clingy client and put her off taking your business again. Definitely don't buy her gifts or tip her for anything unless she becomes a regular and you feel it's appropriate. That's not to say you shouldn't be very respectful of the lady but as long as you pay her when you arrive (calling it a 'donation' isn't necessary), be clean and polite throughout and give her the relevant feedback on whatever site you found her on, then everything is fine.

You also don't need to worry so much about other guys and what guys do in porn, just relax and be yourself. She doesn't care one bit how hung you are (unless you're too big and it's hurting her) and she doesn't care that you're completely shaven either, as long as you're clean, don't smell bad and don't act like a tool then you'll be fine.

Your first mistake was booking such long appointment for your first time. It might seem like a good idea because you think it'll be more relaxing but the reality is when you're actually there and you're nervous, the thought of paying for three hours and not being able to get it up can weigh on your mind and make it even more difficult to relax into the encounter. It's probably best to find a more 'girl next door' escort next time and book 30-60 minutes, take it slow, as dace said start with massages and get a happy ending. Even if you book an escort who does full service, explain to her before hand that you're a bit nervous and probably just want a massage and handjob, that way if you relax enough during that booking and get a proper boner, you can put it to use.

Most important thing is just not to worry, especially about what she's thinking. In an ideal world, the escort would love the encounter as much as the punter does and if that can happen, great, but don't worry about her expectations because she probably doesn't have any. She's providing a service, not looking for the man of her dreams to give her the most sensational orgasm ever.

I've gone on a bit but I hope that helps. A lot of people struggle to get hard or cum their first time, whether it be with an escort, with a new partner in general, whatever. Some people go the opposite way and cum too quick. There's certainly nothing wrong with you.

but i'm wondering if i'm still classed as a virgin or not. yes, i went inside her a few times, but it wasnt fully erect, and i never came. but i was definitely inside her and she even asked if i came when she felt a throb. but i didnt. its like i missed the point of the whole thing, and my mentality just went someplace else. why would an escort want someone like that back when they could get an equal deal from someone else who's much better from the hundreds of emails they get? i still count myself lucky. shes a sex goddess and even know when flicking through hundreds of other profiles to move on, she still stands out.

thats not to say i'll get clingy. besides shes married and has a sexbuddy of her own. you're right about the clingy thing, i don't want to do that. mind you i got a reply from her just now saying i should say all that stuff in a feedback. well, i suppose that means she took it well so another appointment to make up for the crap three hour appt is possible in the future and i can redeem my 'first time' my saving up for a massive explosion next time. that would be satisfying anyway, as with any guy.

(03-08-2012 23:43 )a_j216 Wrote:  but i'm wondering if i'm still classed as a virgin or not. yes, i went inside her a few times, but it wasnt fully erect, and i never came. but i was definitely inside her and she even asked if i came when she felt a throb. but i didnt. its like i missed the point of the whole thing, and my mentality just went someplace else. why would an escort want someone like that back when they could get an equal deal from someone else who's much better from the hundreds of emails they get? i still count myself lucky. shes a sex goddess and even know when flicking through hundreds of other profiles to move on, she still stands out.

thats not to say i'll get clingy. besides shes married and has a sexbuddy of her own. you're right about the clingy thing, i don't want to do that. mind you i got a reply from her just now saying i should say all that stuff in a feedback. well, i suppose that means she took it well so another appointment to make up for the crap three hour appt is possible in the future and i can redeem my 'first time' my saving up for a massive explosion next time. that would be satisfying anyway, as with any guy.

FFS!! Its only sex, stop over thinking it.

You keep on going on like this, I have to think you like to be publicly humiliated, like phone up saying what a small willy you have.

BTW, yes you are NOT a virgin anymore, you have popped your cherry!! It was crap like most 1st times.