5 things you wish you could say before you die?

1. "Jemma Massey please stop phoning me for sex!"

2. "As head of Ofcom I am pleased to announce NO HOLDS BARRED!"

3. "Yes your honour, they were paying me £1.50 per minute!"

4. "I just pressed the red button and out of the screen she popped!"

5. "Bikini Inspector, it's dirty work but someone has to do it!"

Damn I was 2 days away from retirement..

I only have two - 'Dwarf' and 'elf'
I've never been able to pronounce them correctly

heres two for now i'll add the rest later.

1 ok, you can have a suck when your sister is finished
2 ok, you can have a suck when your mother is finished

The Master Says...

I said, "Hold my calls," madam!

i don't want to die i want to live

The Master Says...

Mr Hawking, are you trying to seduce me?

"Respawn in 10, 9, 8..."

These will be my dying words...

1.) "I swear to you Your Honour, the ostrich came on to me!"

2.) "The left side of her body was a robot."

3.) "That's not a bassoon, This is a bassoon!!"

4.) "What a pleasure it was to have such a well reasoned and carefully thought out debate on the internet, with no recourse to name calling or POSTING EVERYTHING IN CAPS!!. We merely agreed to disagree and went our seperate ways on good terms!"

5.) (Just for clarification, this is things to say before I die?) "Happy new year!! Welcome to 2085!"

The Master Says...

On my deathbed, to my wife.

"I always preferred your sister!"