Private convos [PM/DM] experiences & advice

(07-07-2015 03:08 )wackawoo Wrote:  These threads are popping up a lot lately; people being duped into thinking they are some how special, they never learn.

It's easier said than done Wackawoo.
You can be as street wise, intelligent or brimmed to the top with common sense as you like, but if that one overwhelming lady appears in your life, it's hard to "know better" and walk away.

I have foolishly danced with the devil myself and I can tell you, it takes an extremely strong person to resist such an opportunity.

You're aware of the dangers, but believe you are in control.

For me there is nothing wrong with having an infatuation with the babes as long as you know that's all it is. Some of the girls have amazing animal magnetism, on screen charisma and have banta to match. So naturally you are going to be drawn to some. But never ever be fooled into thinking it's kinship. You don't know them they don't know you and it's their on screen persona you are attracted to.

Most of the babes are not exactly deep thinkers. I would wager having a big bank balance, a six pack and a big cock would be of more importance to them for example than say a brilliant mind and a likeable stimulating personality. Look at Jo Baker example. She was told on face book by a complete stranger that he loved her. That should have been a warning sign there and than. She than asked for him to send s photo which he subsequently did. She thought he was hot so agreed to meet up with him. They started dating but after a week she realised he was a bit dodgy so ended it with him but agreed to stay friends. He hired a man to throw acid in her face. It was an absolute tragedy but showed just how naive and lacking in judgement some of these girls are.

Also a lot of the women do have online friendships with loads of guys but end it as soon as they change career. A lot of them delete their twitter and facebooks accounts at a drop of a hat without warning. Just the fact that they are capable of behaving like that makes me automatically realise that you should never get to close to them. Though I don't like to tar people with the same brush at the end of the day they sell sex for a living. Therefore one should never be surprised when they behave in a cold hearted mercenary manner, by drooping you as soon as it suits them to.

^ I don't disagree with much of what you say but doesn't it imply a certain level of intelligence to create and maintain an "onscreen persona" to distance yourself from your audience?

As you, the babes interaction on social media and indeed this whole thread would seem to indicate it is a LACK of this defensive skill that creates problems for both babe and customer.

^^^^^^^^^^^
A lot of the babes Are self absorbed and think in the here and now rather than the future. It suits them at a particular moment to be friendly with you and interact with you on twitter and Facebook for example. They might than decide to get an office job for example so therefore delete all evidence of the past career since it's now no now longer in their interest to keep ties with their past.

(07-07-2015 12:41 )setter1000 Wrote:  ^^^^^^^^^^^
A lot of the babes Are self absorbed and think in the here and now rather than the future. It suits them at a particular moment to be friendly with you and interact with you on twitter and Facebook for example. They might than decide to get an office job for example so therefore delete all evidence of the past career since it's now no now longer in their interest to keep ties with their past.

Absolutely. My point is merely that this doesn't really represent an onscreen persona. If more babes had the emotional intelligence and maturity to establish a truly seperate persona for their work then they wouldn't need to resort to the tactics you describe after they are done with it.

For a lot of babes, it seems to come with the terriotory - acting like a celebrity and thinking everyone is interested the "real" you (their true self rather than our vision of them). It must be very potent temptation these days with social media and the celeb worship than goes on in the media. Adoration is a drug like any other and the need to maintain it by giving up parts of your personal life must be very strong.

The resultant blurring of lines between onscreen and real life has the effect of making some babes turn to the "wrong" people for reassurance whent things go wrong in their lives it would seem.

Yes I got your point in your previous post thank you. However, You can still have am onscreen persona and still only think in the here and now. The fact that a lot of them refer to themselves in the third person shows that. Plenty of people get carried away with their persona/image of themselves through taking their image far to seriously. Their persona might have suited them than but does not later. They still separated their persona from their true character.
Yes I agree they do lack emotional/social intelligence.
The fact they Slag off their customers on their public twitter and Facebook accounts show that.

Wasn't intended to sound argumentive if that's how it came across. I couldn't tell from your post that you'd seen my line of thought.

As you indicate we agree on most of this at least.

No worries
Did not think you were looking for an argument just not convinced you have to have a certain level of intelligence to have a persona. I'm sure there are plenty of Successful method actors who are not particulary intelligent.

I remember a day show where a girl in a husky accent said' come on boys give me a call if you think you have the stamina to handle me. I won't bite boys unless you want me to' she than gave the most seductive smile I haver seen. Than not realising she could be heard said in a high pitch shrill ' mic's ' to the producers,totally ruined the effect.

Cool. I think we are just disagreeing over terms really. Exaggerated version of their own personality would be how I'd describe most babes effort at what you term a persona. I think we can agree that the more intelligent girls keep their onscreen version at arms length from their day-to-day life.

Not worth the lines we have taken up with it really!

(07-07-2015 03:08 )wackawoo Wrote:  These threads are popping up a lot lately; people being duped into thinking they are some how special, they never learn.
Did you deep down think you was going to get a courting?

I'm not sure what you mean - did I think I was going to start dating her? Apart from the fact that I'm happily married, there was never a suggestion from me of anything inappropriate towards her - that's just not who I am. I was there for her as an online friend because she asked me to be, many hundreds of times. To be brutally honest, dating Elle would be a flippin' nightmare. And she knows that! Also, how have I been 'duped into thinking I am special'? Is it arrogant to say that I am the only person she has written to privately on numerous occasions just because it is true? If you ever find out why she started writing to me then let me know because it was her decision, not mine. That is the only thing that was special.

(07-07-2015 06:36 )Goodfella3041 Wrote:  I think that what people are picking up on, Forum Style, however blunt the expression, is that you have so far been reluctant to acknowledge what Raider007 so astutely observed:

(06-07-2015 16:40 )Raider007 Wrote:  It's incredibly flattering to have a hot girl confide in you ... When a girl actually wants to communicate gratis it's a little thrill. And it does make you feel a little special

I'll come back to the "hot girl" comment in a second - but for the rest of it you are definitely correct. I remember one night when we'd sent eachother so many DMs that we ended up treating the DM system on Twitter like a messenger service [she would write, I would write] while she smoked a cigarette and it was so easy to chat to her, even about emotional stuff. It was a pretty full-on discussion earlier in the night and I was trying to take her mind off things so she could sleep with a smile on her face. So we joked and talked about other subjects, discussed what we were going to do later that day. She wanted to keep talking but I had to inject my arthritis medicine at that time so she said she'd owe me one, which I could claim back at a later date. She thanked me for being there and I told her not to worry about things because, if she was true to herself, things would work out. After we ended the chat, I sat there in front of my PC and smiled. There was no thought about 'man, that was a good FREE chat with her'. No thought about the thrill of it. Just a sense of calming someone down and making them feel a little better about themselves. I'm sure that all sounds like a Disney family movie to most people but if that makes me arrogant or smug then fine, I am those things.

(07-07-2015 06:36 )Goodfella3041 Wrote:  The first step in moving on may thus be to simply admit to yourself that you pursued this relationship -- at least in part -- because of the ego trip it sent you on to have a "famous" girl single you out and talk to you as if to a friend.

As I said in a previous post, I managed to separate the woman who wrote to me about her personal life from the naked, oily presenter I saw on my television. It wasn't a choice, I had to - because the things she was telling me about made me concerned for her physical well-being and her state of mind. You describe her as "famous", I genuinely did not see her that way. I know that seems unlikely because she was moderately famous but my ONLY reason for trying to help her was because I cared about her, however redundant that seems now. I did pursue the friendship but not because of what it did to my ego. I did it because I didn't want to see her make the same mistake[s] that I did. I know I've said this before but if you had heard some of the things she had told me, especially considering what I had told her some months earlier, you would be concerned too. I apologise for not going into more detail, but I can't.

Life is a mirror, and I know my faults. I don't think this is one of them.