Texts you'd love to send but can't be arsed

I see that the all new BS Xtra has a scrolling text box. There are so many texts I'd love to send but I know they wouldn't get shown 'cos of the strength/critical nature/general weirdness of them.
What would you send if you could be arsed, here's my starter for 10:
" Paige - stop fucking about and give me my bike back!"

Give the girls a "FALCOOOOOON PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!1!!!"

"Is this the first time Paige has had a chopper between her legs?"

(28-10-2009 00:00 )moon12 Wrote:  Give the girls a "FALCOOOOOON PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!1!!!"

I have no idea what that means???

"Paige, now you've started showing your baps - how about a flash of your growler?"

(28-10-2009 00:01 )perana68 Wrote:  

(28-10-2009 00:00 )moon12 Wrote:  Give the girls a "FALCOOOOOON PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!1!!!"

I have no idea what that means???

I think youtubing it would be best, or just google.

I saw it in smash bros then found out about the internet meme.

"Paige pretend you are a Llama with a hat on" oh wait i did text that in a few months ago

"Lori, you've gone from nice daytime girl to naughty nightime babe - how about a finger up the arse to camera?"

"Alex,If they turned the central heating up too high would your boobs melt?"

"Alex, come to the forum there's a potential new husband here for you"