Zombies!!!!!!!!!

Why Zombies Make Better Horror Movies Than Vampires



The battle of the undead on the big screen has been under way for some time now, and after months of hearing that vampires are taking over pop culture, it seems like we shouldn't quite put our friends the zombies (no, not those ones) down for the count. Over at Newsweek, Sarah Ball put together a few reasons as to why zombies will never beat vampires in a pop-culture zeitgeist-off thanks to our long-standing love-affair with the pale tortured types. But just this weekend, audiences proved that when it comes to the walking dead, the zombies still have what it takes to bring in the crowds.

Everybody has their personal preferences (and man I love those bloodsuckers), so even though I've watched more vampire content than I care to remember (I even sat through the pilot of The Vampire Diaries), and I'll always be a dedicated 'fan of the fang', I think that sometimes those drooling bumbling walking corpses might be better suited (at least these days) to the world of horror. Here's why:

1. Zombies Don't Fall in Love

One of the best things about a zombie movie is that at no point do we have to worry about watching the trials and tribulations of a human zombie romance (OK, so one movie comes to mind). You can blame Twilight or you can blame Buffy, (personally I blame Frank Langella) but the romantic vamp is here to stay, and when you're looking for chills and thrills on the big screen, romance ruins the gooey fun.

2. Gore Factor

Now, technically, when you're talking about vampires or zombies, you're talking about the walking dead. But the thing about vampires is that for the most part they're pretty hot -- and unless you have a messy eater on your hands, the kill is going to be fairly PG. Zombies, however, are all about the 'goo' -- you've got body parts being ripped off, brains being eaten and all the blood and gore you could ever want.

3. There Are More Creative Ways to Kill a Zombie.

As Zombieland showed us over the weekend, sometimes there really is more than one way to skin a zombie. Once again, the zombies have to take the win, because in the end, most vamps just get staked. Now, as True Blood has shown us the result of the staking can be something new, but seriously, I'd rather watch an old lady drop a piano over Van Helsing and 'Mr. Pointy' any day of the week.

Source: http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/05/wh...-vampires/

While vampires are being all moody and falling in love, this is what zombies are getting up to

Source: http://open.salon.com/blog/sheldon_the_w...y_vampires Wrote:What's With All the Pansy Vampires?

I really enjoy a good scare. I'm a big fan of horror movies. Anything that looks remotely scary is good enough to stop me from channel-surfing for at least a couple of minutes. I've noticed something lately, though. A rather disturbing trend for any horror-lover.

What's with all the pansy vampires?

I gotta tell you, I'm pretty put out by what's going on with vampires these days. Somewhere along the way, vampires have been defanged and co-opted by the tween set, as some sort of pro-virginity poster-children. Take, for instance, this guy:



This guy ain't a vampire. Good looking? Sure, why not. If you need a price-check on a sweater at The Gap, he's your go-to guy. But vampire? No, don't think so. He's about as scary as an unshaven Mickey Mouse. You want a vampire? Here's a vampire:



Look at him. Pointy ears, long claws, pointy front teeth. That's a vampire with a pair of balls. No designer jeans, no pouty gazes, no perfectly-moussed hair. Just a bald head, a peacoat, and a bad attitude. You see this guy strolling towards you, get your affairs in order. Besides, in the remake he was played by Klaus Kinsky. You can call Kinsky a lot of things, but dreamy? No. Bat-shit crazy? Absolutely.

I'm not sure when this trend started. My first thought was The Lost Boys since it had that really good-looking guy who later went on to be in Rush and pretty much faded into obscurity soon after. Then again, it also starred Keifer Sutherland, who, let's be honest, looks only slightly less bug-eyed than his dad, Donald. So, the two pretty much offset each other. Dreamy good-looking Rush guy? Not a vampire. Bug-eyed, platinum-blonde, creepy Sutherland? Yeah, I'll buy that. Put it this way, if I find myself in a throw down, who do I want at my back: guy with good hair or Jack Bauer with fangs? It's a no-brainer.

Don't talk to me about the whole tragic romantic figure, either. I don't want to hear it. You know who's tragic? The Wolf Man.



Guy turns into a giant dog, and you don't see the ladies getting all swoony over him. Plus, he has to run around in a pair of cut-off jeans and sport that unfortunate Jewfro. THAT is tragic. Plus the Wolf Man is always played by some goofy-looking character actor (as a goofy-looking character actor myself, maybe that's why I feel for the guy): Lon Chaney Jr., who is basically Baby Huey, and Benicio Del Toro, who always looks like he took a couple of baseballs to the skull as a child.

Another thing: where the hell are the capes? I can't tell you the last time I saw a vampire with a cape. I have to tell you, if I ever find myself being taken down by a vampire who's dressed from the latest Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, I'm going to be pissed. There's just something about a cape that exudes class. I like a vampire that goes that extra mile to make your demise a formal event.

So, keep your Twilights, your Vampire Diaries, your True Blood. Near Dark is on somewhere, and I'll stick with that. Hillbilly vampires are the shit.

Even if they don't wear capes.

But Zombies rule (and generally drool also)