Simpson's Funnies

There is one more way to kill a man, but it is as intricate and precise as a well played game of chess.”

“You gotta start selling these for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition.”

“If you can think of a better way to get ice, I’d like to hear it.”

"He's got us" "Beats me"

"Everyone let's have an awed hush please, for Mr Burns"

"Compadres it is imperitive that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season and remember a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya"

Smithers whispers in Burns ear

"Hmmm, what ? And by that, of course, I mean its time for the worker of the week award"

"Now, what were we talking about, boy?"

"Uh, we were talking about the time you beat jury duty."

"Oh, yeah. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"I sentence you to kiss my ass"

"Hey is that dad ?"

"Either that or Batman's really let himself go"

Crowd laughter

"Nice PJ's Simpson, who bought them for you, your mummy ?"



"Of course she did, who else would have ?"



"All right Simpson, you win this round"

"You got a letter Lisa"

"It's from my pen pal Anya"

"Dear Lisa as I write this i am very sad, our President has ben overthrown and...REPLACED BY THE BENEVOLENT GENERAL KRULL, ALL HAIL KRULL AND HIS GLORIOUS REGIME. SINCERELY LITTLE GIRL"

"Hey Bart Laddie's the best dog in the whole world, he's nothing like your old dog"

"Santa's Little Helper ? I guess i was the only one who loved him"

"You got that right, remember when he ate my goldfish, then you said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did i have the bowl ?

"Men are so sweet when you first marry them then it's just career, career, career. Do you know what i mean ?"



"My Hammock ! Do you understand ? MINE ! Don't look that way !"