Wow, just found this thread...where do I start?
Cameramen who think they're at a disco.
Put the thing on a tripod, point it at the action, then fuckoff and make the tea or something. That camera that you're shaking about all over the place is my head...and I really don't appreciate having it almost twisted off or rammed in and out of the action over and over again until I feel sick. *Glares at Pornostatic* For proper creative camerawork, go watch Salieri...carefully. He's the ONLY person I've seen use a camera on an angle and get away with it. And that's because he only does that sort of thing under very strict conditions. The action is static and the camera never moves. If the camera has to move, the spell is broken and it's back to twisting your head again. (while I'm at it, Elite TV could get a few tips from him about lighting a set with spotlights and no ambient lighting)
Beefcakes.
Why oh why does every porno producer hire the biggest guys on the planet to star in their movies? It makes you wonder who they're marketing the product at. When I watch a movie, I try to project myself as the bloke in the movie...but i'm not built like a rugby player so I can only assume that they're catering to womens fantasies rather than mens.
Gangbangs.
Is that really a male fantasy? I have never fanatsised about having sex with another bloke in the room, ever. It simply doesn't enter my head. Why does so much of todays porn have 2, 3 or even more blokes all fucking the living shit out of 1 girl? What's that all about?
'Orgies' that are really gangbangs.
For fucks sake, learn the difference eh. It's not bloody rocket science.
'Uniform' movies that use £10 nylon costumes from e-bay.
Doesn't work for me at all. I like uniforms but only if they're real. A chick in a cheapo nylon 'uniform' has nothing that i'm looking for. A chick in a proper uniform has sophistication and authority, a chick in a nylon dress looks like a cheap w h o r e, with no sophistication nor authority. Total fail.
Uniform movies where they get completely undressed 3 minutes in.
They start OK...then straight away you might as well be watching any of the other thousand million naked boy/girl on a couch movies out there. *glares at pumpkin films*
Porno producers who exploit fetishes they know nothing about.
see above^ I just feel exploited when I see stuff like that.
Pee and poo.
Go see a doctor dude, you got issues if you need to piss everywhere to get your rocks off.
Monster cocks.
Again, it's about being able to relate to the action, to put yourself in the place of the guy on screen. I don't have a babies arm dangling between my legs so it's pretty difficult to imagine thats my dick splitting that poor girl in half. Also, I don't think the girl can do herself justice with the meat she has to deal with. I wanna see how good she is at sucking dick, but I can't because the poor girl can't even get the head of it in her mouth. How is she supposed to perform like that?
Producers/actors who are in it for the money.
Some of these people obviously don't have the vaguest idea about good sex, let alone how to shoot a good movie. They seem to cater to some sort of psuedo male fantasy that I, personally, can't relate to and I'm sure the same is true of other viewers too. I watched some documentry about porn a few months ago and was appalled by what I heard. Omar, one of the countries most prolific male actors, rabbiting on about how it was 'every males fantasy' to have a HUGE cock. Sorry mate, I have NEVER fantasised about the size of my nudger, not once. It was a total shock for me to hear a guy who has been in the business for so long come out with somethig that couldn't have been more wrong. But there's even worse than that, he then went on to say how girls loved it when he rammed that telegraph pole of his straight up them so fast that it hurts. WTF? I know for a fact that that is bollox. I don't have a big dick by any stretch of the imagination but I've gotten some pretty nasty looks in my time when I've got a bit carried away before she was ready
They then asked Cathy Barry what she thought and guess what...even she said she didn't like it when that happened. S'funny that it took a documetary crew 5 minutes to find out something Phil Barry and Omar haven't found out in all the years of making porno. Even stranger when it's you wife that's on the recieving end and you never asked her if she's OK with it...
Mansions.
Why are so many movies shot in the producers mansion when he could have spent some of that cash on a proper studio with themed sets. 'New sensations' are the biggest ones for doing this. They have 3 'schoolgirl' series out (as well as others) that are ALL shot in exactly the same mansion. All I can say is, I'm glad I didn't spend a penny on any of their movies and none of that huge fucking mansion was paid for with my cash
There are some euro movie producers who use their mansions a lot too, but they at least theme the movie so that the mansion isn't out of place.
Strangling.
Where on earth did that one come from and why are so many of these beefcakes into throttling women? WTF...?
POV Movies that aren't.
New sensations again.
British lesbian movies.
I can sum the lot of them up in one line...
'oooh aaah ooooh ahhh oooh ahhhh ooohhh yes ooh aaaahhh oooooh aaah yees'
Get 5 chicks to repeat the above for 30 minutes and you got yourself a British lesbo movie. *glares at pumpkin again*
The whole 'Big tits at work/school' series.
90% of them are really bad plastic boob jobs with girls 'modified' by surgeons to the same blueprint. A bad blueprint made up by a media that has never investigated the subject of what is attractive. Plus, that whole look simply doesn't work for a chick dressed as a schoolgirl.
Beach sex.
Well, if you're a movie producer, why not scoot off to Barbados and have a holiday while you're shooting your next movie? I'll tell you why, SAND AND SEX SUCKS. Try it, if you don't believe me. If you can't find a beach, just superglue some sandpaper to you cock and you missus' fanny and have at it. You'll soon get the picture.
Censored Japense pron.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! They make the best pron on the planet yet they are compelled to censor it all. I pray one day, there'll be a Brit producer who comes along and puts the time, effort and cash into producing movies like the Japs do. Some of it's a bit far out (like women in a bath of fish) and some is very Japenese oriented (like the whole public baths thing they got going on) but they have this uncanny knack of producing movies of practically every single teenage fanatasy I ever had. And they shoot them properly too.
I think that's it for now, but I'm bound to think of more stuff soon
*goes off to visit usenet*
Real Ecstasy
Hot & Wet
Live Sex Latinas
Babestation
Search
Member List
Help
/
Biggest turn-offs in pornos
