My hobbies

4. Going into local supermarket, going up to a member of staff who is stacking shelves and asking them if they know where the very thing they are stacking is.....while insisting you can't see or find it anywhere

You can expand on this by stating that what the show you isn't what you're looking for....then proceed to describe, exactly, the very thing they show you

Go into a fishmongers and ask "Are these fish fresh", Its great watching people try to control their temper and be civil at the same time

(30-07-2010 01:49 )Red Wrote:  

Mister Gummidge Wrote:1. When talking to anyone with a deep understanding of probability, insisting strenuously that the probability of any given event taking place is 50/50. It'll either happen, or it won't.

And for those with understanding of quantum mechanics as well as probability?

Mister Gummidge Wrote:2. Sniggering and repeating the last phrase of sentences which blatantly aren't dirty, as if they are. E.G. "Hur-hur-hur. Chicken balti", "Hur-hur-hur. Went to the shop". If someone does make an accidental double entendre, when thy laugh about it, I just stare at them as if I'm baffled about what's so funny.

Believe me, the double entendre wouldn't be accidental. You would be surprised how innocent meanings can be twisted Not by me of course

Mister Gummidge Wrote:3. Knocking on the window and waving furiously at random pedestrians while I'm on the bus, making "It's me!" type motions and gesturing that I'll call them.

Nice to know you're distracted by pedestrians whilst I tail you in the car

For those with an understanding of quantum mechanics, I like to flagrantly abuse Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, apply it to things it was never meant for and use it completely out of context. One judicious misapplication of it, can send a physicist into a recursive pattern of saying "What?! How? That doesn't... It's not supposed to be used for..." Sometimes it can be minutes before their brain gets back on track.

As to the matter of being distracted while you tail me... I'm not as distracted as you think. I just like to give any potential tail an entertaining show. If you have any particular favourite activities, just say so. I'm always very accommodating to a potential stalker's needs. The last one* lost enthusiasm when I went to a festival dedicated to the music of the Northumbrian pipes. I'd hate to lose another one through incompatible interests.


* I miss you, Creepy Derek. No one sent an unsettling note like you did.

(30-07-2010 13:10 )Mister GummidgeFor those with an understanding of quantum mechanics, I like to flagrantly abuse Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, apply it to things it was never meant for and use it completely out of context. One judicious misapplication of it, can send a physicist into a recursive pattern of saying "[i' Wrote:  What?![/i] How? That doesn't... It's not supposed to be used for..." Sometimes it can be minutes before their brain gets back on track.

As to the matter of being distracted while you tail me... I'm not as distracted as you think. I just like to give any potential tail an entertaining show. If you have any particular favourite activities, just say so. I'm always very accommodating to a potential stalker's needs. The last one* lost enthusiasm when I went to a festival dedicated to the music of the Northumbrian pipes. I'd hate to lose another one through incompatible interests.


* I miss you, Creepy Derek. No one sent an unsettling note like you did.

Ah but if you understand Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and you are on the bus you have a fairly good estimate to your velocity. Now if I'm following you then you can extrapolate from that fact that you're also pretty certain of my velocity. That means you have virtually no idea of where I am and should be very afraid

As for the Northumbrian pipes. Did you let any of them escape alive or did the police beat you to them and arrest them for cat strangling?


Oh and Sooky...
Waaaay more fun to try and return store brand stuff to the wrong store and insist you bought it there.

(30-07-2010 02:04 )CaptainVimes Wrote:  

(30-07-2010 01:49 )Red Wrote:  And for those with understanding of quantum mechanics as well as probability?

We are talking cats in boxes here, aren't we?

From wikipedia

Schrödinger wrote:

One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts.

It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.[3]

The above text is a translation of two paragraphs from a much larger original article that appeared in the German magazine Naturwissenschaften ("Natural Sciences") in 1935.
---------------------------------

I wonder if the cat had a name?

My hobbies for this week are...

1. Making up really dull rumours and emailing them to Heat magazine. ("Charlotte Church once visited Rhyl", "Dale Winton dropped some change in a parking garage", "Ewan McGregor is learning to touch type")

2. Fielding every telesales call I receive with only three words... "Tell me more". I like to see how many times I can say this, before they get bored and hang up. My current record is 23.

3. After my mate used my phone to call the repair people when his telly broke last month, I carefully memorised the model no.. Now I go and stand in his garden with a universal remote, altering the volume or changing channels at random.

4. Talking about myself in the third person, but to make it special, doing it in third person omniscient. "Soon, he's going to go and make himself a sandwich."

(31-07-2010 17:28 )TheWatcher Wrote:  From wikipedia

Schrödinger wrote:

One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts.

It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.[3]

The above text is a translation of two paragraphs from a much larger original article that appeared in the German magazine Naturwissenschaften ("Natural Sciences") in 1935.
---------------------------------

I wonder if the cat had a name?

I was with you up 'penned', then I think I might have had a mild stroke

Thank you very much for my nomination in
Best Cap or Cap Set Of The Year 2013
for Dannii Harwood Posts 781 & 782

(03-08-2010 01:02 )Shady Cee Wrote:  I was with you up 'penned', then I think I might have had a mild stroke

The basic premise is that the cat exists in two separate states, namely, alive and dead, until the quantum event which determines said state is observed, thereby collapsing the probability field in which it exists.

Through careful misapplication of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle (which happens to be a hobby of mine), this thought experiment of Schrödinger's may explain why my cat always looks so confused when he's peeking out of a box. Whilst inside the box, he can only know where he is, or how fast he got there, but never both at once. He occasionally has to look out to orient himself in space-time.

I just spent 30 minutes typing stuff, deleting it, re-typing it, changing it, then I hit backspace by accident and it's all gone FECK! ARSE!

OK, I'm not going to type it again, but does this invlove 4 dimensions instead of three, multiple outcomes played out infinitely, effect not necessarily coming after cause and non-linear time? In fact, I could swear this was in the first episode of Red Dwarf...something about existing outside of space-time, therefore having a quantum probability of zero...Oooooh God my head hurts again!

Actually, is there an Idiot's Guide to Quantum Mecahanics at all?

Thank you very much for my nomination in
Best Cap or Cap Set Of The Year 2013
for Dannii Harwood Posts 781 & 782

(03-08-2010 02:25 )Shady Cee Wrote:  Actually, is there an Idiot's Guide to Quantum Mecahanics at all?

http://an-idiots-guide-to-quantum-physics.blogspot.com/