Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

Verbal: Who is Keyser Soze? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone.

buffy the vampire slayer becomin part 2

Spike: We like to talk big. (indicates himself) Vampires do. 'I'm going
to destroy the world.' (looks at the officer) That's just tough guy
talk. (steps over to the car) Strutting around with your friends over a
pint of blood. (sits on the hood) The truth is, I like this world.
(pulls the cigarette pack from the officer's shirt pocket) You've got...
dog racing, Manchester United. (pulls one out and drops the pack on the
officer) And you've got people. (exhales) Billions of people walking
around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. (lights the
cigarette and takes a drag) But then someone comes along with a vision.
With a real... (exhales) passion for destruction. (takes another drag
and looks at Buffy) Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly.
Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?

from family guy
peter: "'ey, lois? have we got any...? oh, crap, i'm stuck in the stairs"

From American Beauty

Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) loses his job. He's called in for a meeting with staff relations manager Brad Dupree (Barry Del Sherman)...

Brad (reading aloud a letter which Lester wrote): "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off, while I fantasise about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

Brad (to Lester): "Well, you obviously have no interest in saving yourself."

Lester: "Brad, for fourteen years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I can save myself now is if I start firebombing."

Brad: "Whatever. Management wants you gone by the end of the day."

Lester: "Well just what sort of severance package is management prepared to offer me, considering the information I have about our editorial director buying pussy with company money, which I think would interest the IRS as it technically constitutes fraud? I'm sure some of our advertisers and rival publications might like to know about it aswell, not to mention, Craig's wife.."

Brad: "What do you want?"

Lester: "One year salary, plus benefits."

Brad: "It's not going to happen."

Lester: "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge to boot?"

Brad (laughing): "Against who?"

Lester (laughing): "Against you! Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"

Brad: "Man.. you are one twisted fuck.."

Lester: "Nope. I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."

from the mask
"it's party time, P-A-R-T why?.... because i gotta!!"

Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

From "Heathers"

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw"

"Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?"

Unfortunately the actress that said those lines died of a brain tumor

american dad stan of arabia part 2

Francine: [on the phone] Deputy Director Bullock, will you please offer Stan his job back?
Bullock: Francine, what a surprise. I already offered Stan his job back. He said, "No."
[Francine screams loudly and Klaus' fish bowl breaks]
Klaus: Your family may have moved to Saudi Arabia, but I'm the real fish out of water. [laughs] Seriously, I'm dying.

One of my favorite moments of t.v. ever,it's from the episode of The Sopranos (Pine Barrens) where Paulie and Chris are lost in the woods after a botched hit.

Sorry i couldn't find a clip on youtube that wasn't copyrighted.

Tony Soprano: [over the phone] It's a bad connection so I'm gonna talk fast! The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando! He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed!
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Get the fuck outta here.
Tony Soprano: Yeah. Nice, huh? He was with the Interior Ministry. Guy's like a Russian green beret. He can not come back and tell this story. You understand?
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I hear you.
[hangs up]
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator.
Christopher Moltisanti: His house looked like shit.

Spike: Come on, it's this way.
Xander: We should have put a leash on him.
Buffy: Yes, let's tie ourselves to the crazy vampire!