Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

blade II 2002

Reinhardt: [after Blade beats an entire squad] Hmm. Well, like my daddy said right before he killed my mom, "Want anything done right, you gotta do it yourself."
[he unsheathes Blade's sword]
Reinhardt: He also said...
[he suddenly lunges with the sword. Blade traps it between his hands]
Blade: Can you blush?
[disarms Reinhardt, catches the sword, and slices Reinhardt in half]

From Mallrats,Brodie & Quint discussing Quint's girlfriends father.

Brodie: After all he's done to you, you should still kinda stick it to him.
T.S. Quint: How do you propose I do that?
Brodie: You stinkpalm him.
T.S. Quint: Stinkpalm?
Brodie: You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin' all day and you're nervous, so no doubt you'll be sweaty as hell.
T.S. Quint: You should see yourself right now, a grown man with his hand down his pants.
Brodie: Yeah i probably look like my old man. So you shake hands with the guy, "Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?"
T.S. Quint: Whats the point?
Brodie: You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly.
T.S. Quint: Meanwhile you yourself are left with a hand that smells like shit.
Brodie: Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies.

From Speed (1994)

LAPD officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is on board a bus which has been wired to explode if the speed drops below 50mph. During a phone call to his colleague, Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels) back at HQ, Jack attempts to clarify what kind of bomb it is. A passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock) is forced to drive the bus after the driver (Hawthorne James) was accidentally shot earlier in the film. Another passenger, Doug (Alan Ruck) is on hand to communicate with Harry while Jack checks the bomb...

Jack (on phone to Harry): OK, where do we start?
Harry: Right, check the spedometer.. has it been fucked with or loosened or any wires.. see any wires or anything?
Jack (to Annie as he checks under the steering wheel): Excuse me, maam. (then to Harry) No, it's clean.
Annie: Huh..?
Harry: Right, so it must be under the bus, probably rigged to one of the axles.
Jack: I can't get under the bus right now Harry, its kind of in motion..
Bus Driver: Access panel... in the floor... underneath you, man...

(Jack pulls the access panel off the floor)

Jack: Alright Harry, we're in... passenger relay - sir, take this, I want you to tell him what I see.

(Jack hands the phone to Doug and looks through the panel at the bomb)

Jack: OK! We got a wad. Pretty big!
Doug: There's a pretty big wad.
Jack: Brass fittings!
Doug: Brass fittings.
Jack: I think I can reach the circuit wire!
Doug: He can reach the circuit wire.
Harry: No! No, no don't do that, it's a decoy, classic!
Doug: That's a classic decoy.
Harry: What else?
Doug: What else?
Jack: Hold on.
Doug: Hold on.

(Jack looks closely under the bus at the bomb...)

Jack: Fuck me!
Doug: Oh darn...

Jack (to Harry): Harry! There's enough C4 on this thing to put a hole in the world!

american dad -stan gets mad at francine & tries to kill her, well almost!!


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bad boys 2 2003

Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. I want to keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowery: You want to?

Mike Lowery: Now *that's* how you supposed to shoot! From now on, that's how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that. WOOOOO... it takes a dysfunctional motherfucker to bust somebody in the head like that. That's some dysfunctional shit! My next partner's gonna invite me to his barbeques and shit, though.

[Repeated Line]
Marcus Burnett: Woosah...

austin powers the spy who shagged me

austin:corr...blimey, this coffee taste like shit?
basil:it is shit, austin?...
austin:oh, then it not just me then!

austin takes a slip of fat bastard stood sample, everybody includin basil & felicity shagwell, looked disgusted, some turn away

austin: it's a bit nutty!

From Boogie Nights (1997) - Amber Waves (Julianne Moore) and Rollergirl (Heather Graham) are high on coke in the bedroom...

Rollergirl: Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom?
Amber: Yes, sweetie.

(both take a sniff..)

Amber (screaming): Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things.
Rollergirl: Okay.
Amber: Let's go walk.
(sniff)
Rollergirl: I don't want to leave this room.
Amber (laughing hysterically): Me, either! I love you, honey!
Rollergirl: I love you, Mom!

buffy the vampire slayer - season 4

Spike : Harm, what are you doing.

Harmony : I'm writing Spike loves Harmony on your back.

Spike : Why?

Harmony : I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me.

Spike : I've got to get back to work.

He gets up.

Harmony : You love that tunnel more than me.

Spike : I love syphilis more than you.

true lies 1994

juno skinner: have you told her about us, harry?
harry: there was no *US*!, you psychopathic bitch!!

cruel intentions 1999

Helen Rosemont: Sebaaaastian!
Sebastian: [Under his breath] Aw fuck me.
[Hugging Helen]
Sebastian: Aunt Helen! God I've missed you!

Mrs. Sugarman: Oh, did I ever tell you the time, when my late husband sent me...
Sebastian: Yes, you already did, Mrs. Sugarman.
Mrs. Sugarman: Oh, I did?
Sebastian: Right after we played backgammon, Mrs. Sugarman.
Mrs. Sugarman: Oh! We played backgammon?
Sebastian: Uh huh. You beat me three times.
Mrs. Sugarman: I did?
Sebastian: Yup. Then I fucked your daughter.
Mrs. Sugarman: Excuse me?
Sebastian: I said, would you care for some water?
Mrs. Sugarman: No, thank you.