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How Often Do You Wank

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newark red Offline
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Post: #41
RE: how often do you wank off
(02-09-2010 03:56 )spunkingup Wrote:  I have had 47 wanks in a day

you sound like a right wanker!
02-09-2010 18:31
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lionel hutz Offline
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Post: #42
RE: how often do you wank off
prob about twice a day on average, cant really go a whole day without shooting my load at least once.
22-01-2011 22:45
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Light Entertainment Offline
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Post: #43
RE: how often do you wank off
Oh God don't even ask!!

Basically, I've recently discovered that my ejaculant is a dramatic anti-ageing miracle juice which attacks wrinkles, smoothing away fine lines and deep creases alike. And now, the 'manufacturing process', shall we say, has taken over my life.

I am calling the potion Spunk. I was initially told I had to change the name, because if you want EU accreditation on a medical/cosmetic product (which I did), you're not allowed to call it Spunk unless it's literally just spunk, with no added ingredients.

My pro-active formula also contained fresh strawberry juice, so I called it Strunk. Then the supermarket ran out of strawberries so I replaced the strawberry juice with T-Cut. But that resulted in dry skin so I added batter mix. I don't know what it was, exactly, that made me start mixing strawberry juice with spunk and putting it on my face, but after doing it for six weeks I just suddenly woke up with really soft skin and my lines had gone. Once I'd replaced the strawberry juice with T-Cut and batter it gave even better results, but the fragrance wasn't up to much so I sprayed Lynx into it.

There's no set recipe for the unscented potion, so the mix of spunk, T-Cut and batter can vary in proportion. Sometimes it may be 70% spunk, 20% batter and 10% T-Cut. But equally, it could be, say, 54% batter. However, there will never be more T-Cut than batter because that has proven to be tougher on the face than an orbital sander.

Before getting accreditation on a product like this you have to have it assessed by the EU, then they give you a certificate which you can show to Amazon, Bid TV, Dragons' Den or whatever. I thought the EU board would already know all about T-Cut, batter and Lynx so I just sent the spunk. Then the certificate came back stating that not only was I now allowed to call it Spunk, but that I no longer had any actual choice and would have to do so. So I said: "What d'you mean? I've called it Strunk now and printed all the labels. You said I could only call it Spunk if it was literally just spunk". And they said: "Well it is literally just spunk". And I said: "Well the sample I sent you was literally just spunk, but I've already told you the one everyone else gets has got T-Cut, batter and Lynx in it". And they said: "Well why have you just sent spunk if the product's got T-Cut, batter and Lynx in it?" So I said: "Because the proportions are variable and I was assuming you've already tested T-Cut, batter and Lynx." And they said: "So why bother sending the spunk?" And I said: "So you could test it and decide what category it falls into or something". And they said: "Well what the bloody hell category did you think it was gonna fall into, other than the category of 'spunk'?" So I said: "Well not all spunk cures wrinkles does it?" And they said: "How do we know? We don't sit there wanking in front of the telly all night and then putting it on our faces do we?"...

Anyway, fifty or so emails later they requested full details of my manufacturing process. So I sent them a vid of me making the miracle juice in my lounge, with Lolly Badcock and Camilla on the TV. They described my manufacturing process as "total chaos" (the EU, that is, not Lolly and Camilla), and said that because I obviously didn't know what I was doing I'd have to label the product Spunk, then write 'May contain T-Cut, batter and Lynx' underneath.Rolleyes

But to answer the original question, life has now essentially become one long wank.
23-01-2011 19:06
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rhrhlova Away
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Post: #44
RE: how often do you wank off
wait until you have to assign Strunk the correct commodity code, roflmao

Size matters, its a pottery thing...
23-01-2011 19:14
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cwpussylover Offline
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Post: #45
RE: how often do you wank off
(02-09-2010 18:31 )newark red Wrote:  
(02-09-2010 03:56 )spunkingup Wrote:  I have had 47 wanks in a day

you sound like a right wanker!

fuckin hell mate even i aint manAGED that when my fernny babes is onImportant

15-02-2011 20:37
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staggerlee Offline
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Post: #46
RE: how often do you wank off
At least once a day cant remember the last time a day went by without knocking one out
15-02-2011 21:36
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morethenahandful Offline
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Post: #47
RE: how often do you wank off
normally twice a day. morning and night!!

More than a handful is a BONUS!

Loving Boots since '82
15-02-2011 21:54
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Krill Liberator Offline
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Post: #48
RE: how often do you wank off
Wanking is beneath higher beings such as myself.






Oh no! That's 'watching X-Factor'!

Probably... ohh, ten times a week*? Does that sound reasonable? I'm not admitting to anything more.laugh
*Several of these may be part of a multiple orgasm. You did want details, didn't you?

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~
17-02-2011 13:50
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mr williams Offline
Still Missing Roxy :(
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Post: #49
RE: how often do you wank off
(23-01-2011 19:06 )Light Entertainment Wrote:  "How do we know? We don't sit there wanking in front of the telly all night and then putting it on our faces do we?"...

More evidence emerges to support the theory that life exists outside of the Babe Channels.....

follow me on twitter @mrwilliamsforum

17-02-2011 14:18
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sexy scouse Offline
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Post: #50
RE: how often do you wank off
(05-03-2010 02:48 )Trickster Wrote:  My last time was when MINNIE was on. Hahaha only joking

...what??? Minnie mouse...gf to mickey mouse.......some sickos in this world int there...LOL

(02-09-2010 03:56 )spunkingup Wrote:  I have had 47 wanks in a day


Poor love you must've been knackered at the end of that day then.

LYING B**TARD. Oh, pull the other one will you.........

......as i dont have a cock, although i do think with one......i dont ever have a wank.......
........i'd much rather have a frig instead!

SEXY SCOUSE BINT!!
07-03-2011 02:59
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