Do you have a zombie plan...?

So, I've owned up to the fact that I'm terrified of zombies in the Resi 5 thread. So much so that I've actually dedicated time to thinking about what I'll do when the zom-pocalypse arrives. My plan currently revolves around making sure that there is always at least a weeks worth of canned food and bottled water in the bungalow, along with candles and the facility for cooking in the loft.

Weaponry is something of a problem, seeing as we live in a country with very restrictive gun laws, so I have to satisfy myself with a long handled joiners hammer.

I figure that if the authorities don't have things under control within a week, then any survivors are screwed anyway.

Just to clarify things, I mean zombies. The hungry dead, shambling corpses that crave the flesh of the living. Not living people infected by angry monkeys or supposedly dead things that manage to run like olympic sprinters.

Just wondering if anyone else has a plan, 'cos I'm always ready to steal ideas to modify my own survival strategy...

Every fan of zombie films or games has a plan. I know I do. But I ain't telling anyone as it could compromise my own survival plans. All I will say is it involves a house, some tools, montage music from the A-Team and The Anarchist's Cook Book. Now bring it on you dead fucks.

haha, ur posts are always a good read mr g.

i think from playing the resi games, so long as i have a trusty knife to slash away at 'em and maybe a chainsaw like ash from evil dead, i think i'd be alright

Judging by how rundown, beaten and battered my house was when I got it two years ago I think they've already been here so I'm working on the assumption they won't be back.

A knife mozza? You're going to have a bloody hard time smashing the brain stem with a knife... The chainsaw thing could work, but you need to be in the open to utilise it successfully, leaving yourself open to the unexpected collar bone bite from behind - we've all seen it before...

m100, NEVER assume they won't be back. They're sneaky like that. One day, you'll open the airing cupboard and one will lurch out and start snacking on your neck. Constant vigilance, my friend, constant vigilance...

A Spider Monkey, A man with a solid plan and able to keep a secret, I can respect that...

yea but it'd be a big knife, something like a machete to lop there heads off,lol, plus my ability to strafe sideways around corners and going up n down stairs (fps gamers will know what i mean) all adds to a winning combo, just have to expect the unexpected and trust no one

A machete eh... I like that idea, Ray Mears is onto something carrying one of those things around with him! Personally I favour climbing the stairs, then smashing them out behind you, shimmying up and down on a rope for access. You never know when one of them will learn how to use the wooden hill to bedfordshire. The motor skills and coordination to climb a rope should be utterly beyond them, hence my belief we'll be safe in the loft.

Yes, I've thought about this a lot!

Obama'll save us, like he's gonna save us from everything else

For a start I wont be going near a shopping mall, that seems to be a favourite hangout for zombies.

Weapons- A big fuckoff flamethrower, burn those walking dead to a crisp.
If I can get my hands on one, a combine harvester and drive head-on into a group of em and watch their arms and legs go flying.

The surest way for you to be safe from Zombie attacks is to simply not shower or bath, that way the zombies will not attack you and treat you as one of their own.

Of course that has it's down-side in a world where possible zombie attacks are laughed at by the unprepared, so instead I shower daily and have spent some time working on an invisibility potion, up to now though my efforts have been largely unsuccessful, they merely just have the ability to get me completely drunk, although I will persevere not just for the good of myself but for the good of all.

i would just lock myself in my room with a loaded gun, a bottle of scotch, a cuban cigar and lots of tissues. and wen they come a bangin i shall light the cigar, cock my gun, and....................have a goodbye world wank.