If You Could Be Prime Minster - Your Policies

As It's getting near election time I thought it would be a fun Thread to post with the intention of keeping it light hearted. Let's say you were made Prime Minister tomorrow what would your policies be.

Here is a list of mine.

sensible regulation, all 900 channels are immune to censorship
Min wage would be £15 an hour
Cigarettes - £1 a pack
Pint of beer - Also £1
24 hour licensed pubs
24 hour licensed Strip and massage parlours.
Legalise Cannabis and prostitution
Business's to decide on smoking or not
Alcohol to be allowed back into football grounds
BBC must start up a FTA porno channel

I will deliver you on my promises

^Here's mine:-
all 900 channels are immune to censorship & FTA
Min wage would be £19 an hour
Cigarettes - 99 a pack
Pint of beer - Also 99p
24 hour licensed pubs
24 hour licensed Strip and massage parlours.
OFCOM disbanded with immediate effect
smoking weed legalised in pubs
Alcohol to be allowed back into football grounds plus all grounds
to reintroduce standing areas and ticket prices fixed at £10
BBC ITV to screen porno/babes channels FTA
betting shops to open 24 hours
Petrol to be fixed at £1.00 a litre
Footballers wages to be capped at no more than £25,00 a year and special car tax for to be introduced (Details to be follow if election is won)
We will have referendum on Europe within six weeks of election

These are my policies

first id decriminalize all drugs. and i mean all. if there legal theres no mystery so kids will be less tempted and no criminal involvement.
they can also be taxed and sold legally from a chemist to any 1 over 18 who possesses a doctors certificate.

then ban fracking and pour the money into geo thermal.

round up all the tax cheating companies and tell them they either pay there share or they can fuck off out of our country.
ceasing there assets if they do decide to uproot. managers can be replaced pretty easily as can company names...

tell business to pay a working wage that doesnt need to be subsidized by taxpayers with tax credits so they can make massive profits.

id break up the banks and any business thats to big to fail.
jail any banker that made any profits out of the 2008/9 banking crysis. stripping them of all there assets to help pay off there dept.

id make adult filters on by default on sky boxes mandatory the onus being on the parents to supervise what there kids watch not government.

create a flat rate of tax for working poor of 10% up to the first 15,000 single or couple, 20%@30,000 30%@50,000 40%@100,000 70%@250,000
a business tax of 50% on any profits over 10 million forcing reinvestment of high profit companies rather than hoarding cash to make the owner rich to the point he/she cant ever spend it. 10% for any company making less than 10mill profits.

create a benefit system that actually helps the unemployed find work rather than punitive punishments for being unemployed.

stop allowances for politicians. if they cant get buy on what there payed then they should go work elsewhere. none of this best and brightest need the highest wages... political life should be a calling not a means to get rich.
hmm i could go on but....

Implant-ism to join racism & all the others in the "not allowed, on pain of death" box.

Top rate of income tax at 60%, lowest rate at 5%. Thresholds to be confirmed later.

Any party with National in its name to be forced to append the word Socialist to it.

Cut petrol/diesel taxes to about 5%.

I'll crib the rest from the Monster Raving Loonies later.