Boomer's Bizarre Bicycle, A - Z Compendium

Here goes nothing, I'm anticipating a car crash thread, despite this relating to 2 wheels.
I had an embryonic idea a while back, born about sharing my experiences, observations, sights, sounds, smells whilst riding the many familiar routes in my local area.
For those who choose pedal power hopefully some posts will strike a chord & perhaps provoke the odd reply & raise a few debates. I expect some motorist to perhaps vent some hostilities as there are a fair few anti bike types, but that's also fine.
As this is the Fun Zone I'll try my best to keep it that way, although I wont shy away from a few more serious topics.

(30-06-2024 19:05 )Boomerangutangangbang Wrote:  I expect some motorist to perhaps vent some hostilities as there are a fair few anti bike types.

Fuck 'em. Crack on

This is not good, already it's week one of my 26 week journey & I'm struggling with the letter A.

I good begin with that ARSEHOLE driver that tried their best to put me in a dyke this morning , something tells me this will be a common theme for the short term life of this thread, which I intent to post updates alphabetically & weekly, up to the year end. Some weeks will have more content than others

I'm starting to think that I should've maybe wrote some stuff down, hopefully as I work through the A-Z it will trigger some memories, mixed in with stuff that happens on the day.

I'm hoping B is a description of you going up Buttertubs Pass

Well I'm all for certain cyclists, even though I don't do it myself but I guess some days are pretty great!

If im playing correctly this would be C for Cunt

I'm going with the tenuous link of agriculture. Most of my regular routes are on B roads, although many of these can be busy at peak times, with close links to motorways & no bypass routes away from the towns & villages.
Farm vehicles can be quite imposing to a cyclist, given the size of some of them, especially the ones with gigantic tyres & the noise they make. Farmers are a breed apart & obviously have their own agenda in terms of cracking on with their work, often at the expense of other road users. There is a degree of a
"fuck you" attitude. At times it makes me laugh with a stream of traffic held up behind a monster farm vehicle unable to pass, their frustration & annoyance is palpable. On a recent ride I added to their chagrin by utilizing a very badly maintained cycle-path & in effect undertook the whole line of traffic, to eventually re-join with nothing but open road ahead. Sometimes you can gain a lot of pleasure from the little things in life.

Animals are everywhere, from the smallest of rodents, hedgehogs & rabbits which pose little threat, (although those spines could well cause a puncture) through to domesticated cats & dogs, some less domesticated than others, & finishing with horses, as recent events have shown in London, highly unpredictable & dangerous.
Not forgetting, my biggest fear, deer. our national herd is estimated to be around 2 million, the highest number for over 1,000 years, more than when William the Conqueror arrived.

Week 2 of my alphabetical journey brings me to B. I'm going with black. Personally whilst cycling on a daily basis, I encounter near-death situation more often than I would like, if I had bean born a cat I'd still be dead by now, although maybe not as you don't see many peddling cats, if at all. I digress, I like to highlight the absolute lunacy of the hoards of cyclist that believe it is a good idea to adorn themselves completely in black. I suspect that there is some good reason or logic for cycling shorts to be black, colours & especially white tend to draw more attention to the lunchbox area. If you are out in a group it is usual to stop at a pub or cafe for refreshments. In these situation black shorts are relatively discreet, but anything else & you might as well have an arrow pointing at your crotch area with the sign says "look & my cock & balls" You do need a certain amount of confidence to suite-up in lycra in the first place, it's not the sort of material that leaves much to the imagination. I'm sure that most are familiar with the acronym MAMIL, there are actually a couple of cycling themed Cafe Bars in Halifax & Brighouse that go by that name.
So yeh, the shorts I get, but FFS wear something bright & ideally reflective, it might just save your life. I many cases it can be just the helmet that is visible, & then only partially if they are riding on the drops with their head down. These dark colours seem to merge into the background in certain situations especially if it is not a bright day, like today. It is the combination of dark clothing, the relatively small size of a cyclists compared to other road users & also moving a slower speeds that all add up to an accident waiting to happen. I cycle a lot on narrow country roads with blind bends & high hedges which compounds the situation further. Just don't be daft in the name of fashion & stay safe.

(01-07-2024 17:02 )SecretAgent Wrote:  I'm hoping B is a description of you going up Buttertubs Pass

Something of a detour, as I was concentrating on my immediate area, but I think that I can be forgiven the indulgence of taking in one of my favour.ite parts of the world. Having visited the Yorkshire Dales since early childhood it has become something of a second home. Despite being a keen cyclist for most of my life it had never been on the radar. I've done everything but, drawn to the many waterfalls I visited most, some unnamed & hard to access. I believe they call it tombstoning now, but jumping into pools in & around waterfalls is what we did. Swimming in a number of tarns, which is also a thing , cold water swimming, with it's health benefits. Walking of course, climbing all the famous & not so famous peaks. Rock climbing which I enjoyed, caving, tried it not a big fan, & then potholing, which brings me back nicely to the Buttertubs, which are a cluster of small potholes, ideal for beginners, thought to have taken their name from when the farmers would use them to store butter to keep it cool, or more simply that they resembled butter tubs.
After featuring on a stage of the 2014 Tour de France, the route made it onto my bucket-list. The Tour Stage was from the direction of Hawes in Wensleydale into Thwaite in Swaledale taking in the Buttertubs Pass, this is considered the slightly easier route, as the start from Thwaite kicks up to around 17% with a couple of 20% hairpins early in the climb, averaging out to around 9%. It averages somewhere between 5 & 7% in total depending on where the start & finish point is measured from. It doesn't sound much overall but it contains a steep downhill section which brings the figures down quite a bit. For me knowing the road well was an advantage, no actual recon was required, it is certainly helpful when a cattle grid is looming up.
Regardless of the difficulty, the views are breath-taking. We did the stage as it was meant to be & reversed it the next day. The direction of the route was obviously more about geographical location which made more sense, I don't think the organizers were trying to make it that little bit easier.