RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 04-07-2020 16:52
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 06-07-2020 15:34
I remember as a child we had this antique Victorian globe.
It wasn't very valuable, but it meant the world to us.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:13
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:14
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I’ll never part with it!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:18
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup. - Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:19
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”.
Good that he will not bother me anymore.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:20
Doctor: You're obese.
Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2020 20:22
Boy complains to his father: "You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool!
But you forgot to mention one thing!"
Father: "Really, what?"
Boy: "That the potato should go in the front."
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 08-07-2020 13:50
My pet mouse, Elvis died today.
He was caught in a trap.
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 08-07-2020 13:55
A wife finds out after 20 years of sex in the dark, her husband has been using a toy on her the whole time.
Explain the toy, shouts the wife.
You explain the kids replies the husband.
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