RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 13-08-2020 18:28
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 13-08-2020 18:30
After dinner last night, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
I needed a running start, but I made it!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 13-08-2020 18:31
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!
RE: Jokes - HLO - 15-08-2020 15:44
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two
RE: Jokes - HLO - 15-08-2020 15:45
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
RE: Jokes - HLO - 15-08-2020 22:43
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey', she said, 'you received a very strange post card today'.
'Oh, really? Let me see...', he said. The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.'
RE: Jokes - HLO - 15-08-2020 22:44
All countries eventually got coronavirus
But China got it right off the bat.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:37
If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door.
He’s standing right behind you.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:38
I ordered an extension course, “How to Deal With Life’s Disappointments”.
Yesterday, I got the first lesson by post.
It was an empty envelope.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:40
A man walks into a police station and announces, “My wife’s gone missing.”
The police officer says, “OK sir, we’ll help you. Since when has your wife been missing?”
The man replies, “Since about a month ago.”
The police officer is shocked, “What? A month?! Why on Earth are you coming only now?!”
“Well… I’ve no clothes to put on anymore.”
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