RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:41
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea.
You’re running, but can’t remember where.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:42
One shop owner asks another, “So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that you’re looking for a night guard?”
“Yeah, we got robbed last ight.”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-08-2020 18:45
Two men talking on a bus:
“I’ve been riding this bus to work for 15 years now.”
“Lord Almighty, where did you get on?!”
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 18-08-2020 16:21
2 men with shotguns are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses.
His friend rings 999 and says help , i think my mate has just dropped dead.
Don't panic says the operator, just make sure there is no sign of life and get back to me.
The operator then hears a loud bang then the man returns.
Ok, he really is dead, now what he replies.
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 18-08-2020 16:22
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You do need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 18-08-2020 18:02
I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 18-08-2020 18:03
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 18-08-2020 18:04
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 18-08-2020 18:05
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 18-08-2020 18:06
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
|