RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 30-10-2020 19:39
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
RE: Jokes - HLO - 02-11-2020 22:12
I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.
All I could find were Finnish Hymns.
RE: Jokes - HLO - 02-11-2020 22:13
I saw something strange on TV the other day, a man was dressed as a freezer and he was trying out to be a stand up comedian
It didn't work out though, he got a frosty reception
RE: Jokes - HLO - 02-11-2020 22:14
My granddad always used to say, “As one door closes another one opens.”
Great guy, terrible cabinet maker.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 03-11-2020 21:39
At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a dad and his 7 year old son.
Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 03-11-2020 21:40
Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money.
I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 03-11-2020 21:41
Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater.
The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 03-11-2020 21:50
Can’t believe what a rip-off Ebay is.
Just wasted £120 on a penis enlarger.
This guy just sent me a magnifying glass and a piece of paper that said “Do not use in sunlight”.
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 05-11-2020 00:39
I have entered a tube of KY jelly into this year's Booker prize competition.
I hope to win in the non friction category.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 05-11-2020 18:35
What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
“It’s not what it looks like!”
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