RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 23-03-2021 22:37
I've been told I'm getting fat.
But in my defence I've had a lot on my plate recently.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 24-03-2021 17:19
I got angry earlier and smashed up my computer keyboard.
I totally lost CTRL
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 24-03-2021 22:55
Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 24-03-2021 22:57
Me: What’s the Wi-Fi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: OK, I’ll have a Coke.
Bartender: Three pounds
Me: There you go. So what’s the Wi‑Fi password?
Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.” No spaces, all lowercase.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 24-03-2021 22:59
I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request.
The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me:
“If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” “Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. “But that would ruin his credit.”
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 25-03-2021 00:04
I bought an old record the other day called "Sounds Wasps Make" but when I played it, it sounded nothing like wasps.
I was playing the bee side.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 25-03-2021 00:09
bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 25-03-2021 18:00
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 25-03-2021 18:01
How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 25-03-2021 18:02
Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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