RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-06-2021 20:22
At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a dad and his 7 year old son.
Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-06-2021 20:23
Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money.
I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-06-2021 20:25
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-06-2021 20:26
My doctor told me today I need to watch my drinking.
I now drink in front of a mirror.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-06-2021 20:27
Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater.
The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 08-06-2021 15:32
My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today.
"Really!?"
"No," she replied, "April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."
That'll teach her to try to be funny...
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 08-06-2021 15:34
I was kissing a girl outside a pub last night.
Things were getting heated and it seemed like my luck was in.
"Would you like a wank?" she asked.
"Oh yeh!" I replied.
"I'll be in the bar when you've finished." She said.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 08-06-2021 15:35
My friend just put a disc in my PS4 roughly.
"Be careful when you're slotting it in!" I said.
He chuckled to himself and replied, "that's what your mum said last night."
Funny, I didn't even know she had a PS4.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 08-06-2021 15:37
I Said to the wife ..............
"How about a long romantic walk along the country lanes and along by the river ?"
"Awwwwwww..............That would be so sweet "..She replied.
I said "Good coz its your turn to walk the bloody dog !!"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 08-06-2021 15:38
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that
Connects the eyeball to the anus?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving People a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your arse and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eyes.
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