RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2021 18:48
When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex.
He said, Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 06-07-2021 18:49
Man, on a first date: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-07-2021 19:02
"Sorry I'm late home," I said as I arrived back from work.
"Some bloke had lost a £20 note in Tesco."
"Were you helping him look for it?" Asked my wife.
"No, I was standing on it." I said.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-07-2021 19:04
Wife comes home early and catches hubby having a wank in the kitchen, she rushes over and gives him the best blow job of his life. Afterwards he says, "We haven't had sex for 6 months and suddenly this...Why? She says. "I only washed the floor this morning, I'd rather clean my teeth, than get the fuckin' mop out again!!"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-07-2021 19:05
My Girlfriend`s just been checking to see if she has everything ready for her first solo parachute jump tomorrow.
I said, "Have you got a spare pair of knickers with you?"
"What, in case I shit myself?" She replied.
"No." I said, "In case your main chute doesn't fucking open!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-07-2021 19:06
I'm never saying hello to someone I know on a flight again. I was making my way to my seat when I saw my my mate Jack sitting at the back of the plane. I put my hand up and shouted, Hi Jack!
I've never seen so many people freeze at the same time, then they kicked me off the plane.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-07-2021 19:07
Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F!!!!!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 07-07-2021 15:41
Kate Middleton once asked The Queen
"What's the secret of a long life?"
To which The Queen replied
"Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-07-2021 16:31
After making love I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think that was good for anybody.”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-07-2021 16:33
There are three stages in a man’s life:
Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
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