RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 07-11-2021 15:35
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
RE: Jokes - i'llbeback123 - 07-11-2021 18:02
Q. Why did Bilbo Baggins always eat his lunch at noon?
A. He was a creature of hobbit.
Q. What's the robot's favourite dance move?
A. The human!
Q. I don't trust people with graph paper.
A. They're always plotting something.
Q. What did the elephants say when they were caught skinny-dipping?
A. We were told we just needed our trunks.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 08-11-2021 19:20
I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
Tell you what – never again!
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 08-11-2021 19:23
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah.
I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 08-11-2021 19:24
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ”I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 08-11-2021 19:26
A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins.
What a turtle disaster
RE: Jokes - i'llbeback123 - 08-11-2021 20:07
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 09-11-2021 19:49
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 09-11-2021 19:50
Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrist’s office.
“Hello, there,” said one. “Are you coming or going?”
“If I knew that,” said the other, “I wouldn’t be here.”
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 09-11-2021 19:51
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
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