RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-01-2022 19:44
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-01-2022 19:46
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-01-2022 19:48
Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?"
They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 15-01-2022 21:36
If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 15-01-2022 21:37
I entered the world kleptomania championship.
I took Gold, Silver and Bronze
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 15-01-2022 21:39
My boss calls me 'the computer '
I think it's because if I'm left unattended for 15 minutes, I go to sleep.
RE: Jokes - Factotum - 15-01-2022 21:42
I snuck up behind my girlfriend, covered her eyes with my hands, and whispered in her ear "I've got something big and hard for you"
She was not expecting that 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle....
RE: Jokes - Snooks - 15-01-2022 21:47
(15-01-2022 21:36 )Cheesy Grin Wrote: If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.
That reminds me of the if Whitney Houston had married Gene Pitney.
Result: Whitney Pitney
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-01-2022 18:35
Why did I call the police when my son wouldn’t nap?
He was resisting a rest.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 16-01-2022 18:37
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.
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