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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 14-03-2022 18:24
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 14-03-2022 18:27
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick.
She still isn’t talking to me.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-03-2022 19:36
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel
Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-03-2022 19:38
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-03-2022 19:40
A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says, 'This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.'
A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, 'When did that happen?'
'1215', answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, 'Gee whiz - Just missed it by a half hour.'
RE: Jokes - billyboy1963 - 14-03-2022 19:41
Mr Harris, the 3rd grade teacher asked, 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Iris, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
Iris replied, 'Because George still had the axe in his hand?'
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 15-03-2022 23:03
Here is a tip for a happy marriage.
Never ask the missus what's for dinner,
When she is moving the lawn.
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 15-03-2022 23:08
Someone stole 20 crates of red bull from the local supermarket.
I don't know how they sleep at night,
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 15-03-2022 23:10
The Lord told John come forth and receive eternal life.
But John come fith and won a toaster.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 16-03-2022 17:01
Scientists are studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
They’ve left no tern unstoned.