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+---- Thread: Simpson's Funnies (/showthread.php?tid=86037)
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 01-07-2022 02:03
"Ah three couples our best turnout yet. Why don't we go round the room introduce ourselves, tell everybody why we're here, John, Gloria ?"
"My name's Gloria, we're here because Johnny-boy hasn't been able to cut it, man-wise, for some time, not that I'd want stench of gin and sour defeat pressed against me"
"That's enough, Gloria!"
"Thank you Gloria. John, why don't you tell us a little bit about why you're here?"
"She never cooks, she keeps a filthy house and she talks profanely! She's the queen of the harpies!:
"No, I'm not"
"Queen of the harpies!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Here's your crown, your majesty ! QUEEN OF THE HARPIES !"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 06-07-2022 23:45
"Homer this, this is never easy to say, we're going to have to saw your arms off"
"They'll grow back right ?"
"Oh....yeah"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 06-07-2022 23:54
"Dad it's not fair to claim this thing is an Angel there is no proof of that"
"No one's calling it an Angel Lisa. If you look carefully you'll notice i never once used the word Angel"
"What about that sign right there ?"
"That's a typo"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 06-07-2022 23:58
"Gee I don't know what you've got planned for tonight Homer but count me out"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 17-07-2022 13:01
"My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic."
"Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting."
"Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 17-07-2022 13:07
"Johnny Tightlips, where’d they hit you?”
“I ain’t saying nothing.”
“What do I tell the doctor?”
“Tell him to suck a lemon.”
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 17-07-2022 13:19
"Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I... uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder."
"Is that bad?"
"Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
"You did?"
"Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son.""
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 20-07-2022 01:18
![[Image: VUbnV4gf_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/97/83/VUbnV4gf_o.jpg)
![[Image: mTTDcFXK_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/77/24/mTTDcFXK_o.jpg)
"So we meet again MAD magazine"
"How do you know its from MAD ?"
![[Image: a3J5sJL9_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/07/7c/a3J5sJL9_o.jpg)
"The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 20-07-2022 01:33
"Oh, okay. Then I just need your $500 registration fee."
"$500! Oh, no problem. Would you take an out-of-state, two-party, bad cheque?"
"No i will not pay you $500 for sex !"
RE: Simpson's Funnies - southsidestu - 20-07-2022 01:37
![[Image: nQDkho0N_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/0a/fe/nQDkho0N_o.jpg)
"Listen up, this is the busiest drinking day of the year. Where are the designated drivers?Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates."