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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Newport Bob - 25-07-2011 21:59
For 8 years Amy Winehouse was considered mainstream.
Now it looks like she's going underground.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 26-07-2011 10:03
While out walking with the missus this morning, she suddenly stopped and removed her shoe, complaining about there being a stone in it. I told her, "There's about 20 stone in the other one, so keep walking, fatty!"
"The postman's a long time coming", said the lady of the house, as she tried to open her letters with one hand.
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 26-07-2011 18:31
Wanna get laid tonight ? ...Crawl up a chickens arse & wait.
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 26-07-2011 18:37
A Scottish women walks into her bedroom & finds her husband simulating sex with his wellie." Hamish" she "You dirty bastard...Stop fuckin aboot "
RE: Jokes - dazzad99 - 26-07-2011 21:49
A man with a huge grin approaches a priest, "Bless me father for I have sinned," he says. "I've spent the week with pretty ladies". The Priest responds, "Don't fret my son, all you need to do is take seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it". "Will that cleanse my sin from me?" asks the bloke. The priest responds "No, but it'll wipe that stupid grin off your face!"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 27-07-2011 10:31
Two caterpillars are out for a walk and one spots a butterfly. He says to his pal: "You'll never get me up in one of them!"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 27-07-2011 22:08
My wife asked me if she pleased me in bed. I said "Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." she asked "what trick?" I replied, "The one where you shut up and go to sleep!"
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 27-07-2011 22:29
Woman walks into a grocers & asks for a cucumber."Do you want it sliced love ?" asks the grocer. "What for ?" says the woman "its a fanny I've got not a fuckin slot machine"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 27-07-2011 22:40
I phoned 999 to ask what time the next train from Victoria Station was due. After a lecture about it not being an emergency, I told the operator: "It is for me, I'm tied to the tracks!"
RE: Jokes - Stillroom Rock - 28-07-2011 01:34
Rupert Murdoch says he is deeply touched by all the farewell messages left on Amy Winehouse's phone