RE: Jokes - mr williams - 21-09-2011 14:38
(21-09-2011 14:34 )Boomerangutangangbang Wrote: Me & a mate are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from next door.I've just taken the lead...
you won't win a lot with jokes like that!
RE: Jokes - mr williams - 21-09-2011 14:39
If Carlsberg did weddings......
.....we would have seen Pippa Middleton's tits!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 21-09-2011 15:06
I went to the cinema to see Final Destination 5, but left the queue at the last minute as I had a premonition it would be shit.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 21-09-2011 15:46
Labels
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS Warning - contains nuts
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Written on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDECINE - Do not drive car or operate machinery
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID) - Warning - may cause drowsiness
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE - Warning keep out of children
RE: Jokes - mr williams - 21-09-2011 19:34
The dog ate a condom last night.
Try explaining that to the vet as it's hanging halfway out of his arse.....
RE: Jokes - mr williams - 21-09-2011 19:57
We were talking about women drivers in the pub the other night and I started reminiscing about when mrs w took her driving test, and I was helping her practice by asking her some questions:
"What is a common road sign you will see in the countryside?".
"Er.....pick your own strawberries?".
RE: Jokes - mr williams - 21-09-2011 20:07
I was pulled over by the police on the M4 last night and the copper said "I have reason to believe you are drunk"
"How do you figure that out ?" I replied "You haven't even breathalysed me yet".
"Please step out of the locomotive sir".
RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 21-09-2011 20:20
A little kid just said to me "What's your favourite Telly Tubby?" I said "Probably the Sony 52 inch flatscreen, you cheeky little bastard"
RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 21-09-2011 20:23
If I had £1 for every time someone called me stupid, I'd have £12.50
RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 21-09-2011 20:25
Being an Everton supporter on Transfer Deadline Day is like being an African on Christmas Eve. You live in hope but, deep down, you know you're getting fuck all!
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