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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 23-09-2011 21:13
Isn't it strange how hot and sexy women always drive cute little cars?
Which reminds me, the MOT's due on the Wife's Transit!
RE: Jokes - iamthatjack - 23-09-2011 21:15
Paddy and Murphy were walking in a wood, when Paddy fell in a large hole and broke his leg.
Paddy: Arghhh, fuck this hurts, Murphy, call me an ambulance!
Murphy: Paddy's an ambulance! Paddy's an ambulance!
RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 23-09-2011 21:18
Reebok have released new Ultra Skin tight cycling shorts for women called "Mumblers". You can see the lips move but you can't make out what the c**ts saying!
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:20
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say congratulations"
but none of them rub your d1ck and say "well done"?
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:22
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:30
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:32
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bugger and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:33
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!
Personally I think its bollocks!!
RE: Jokes - Stillroom Rock - 23-09-2011 21:40
I heard a local farmer was giving away Cow manure for free
Turned out it was bullshit
RE: Jokes - I-Love-U-Fernanda - 23-09-2011 21:55
I get on extremely well with the two babes living next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me.
All I said was, "I wanna watch."